


This Certain Feeling

by prettykidinyellow



Series: EXO Riding Club [6]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Comedy, M/M, Novelist Sehun, Novelist Yixing, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 05:40:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13968546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettykidinyellow/pseuds/prettykidinyellow
Summary: Oh Sehun had all the right ingredients to be the perfect hero in a romance story or real life. If not because of his attitude that Yixing cannot understand, maybe he already used Sehun as a hero in the novels that he is writing. And he admits that once in his lifetime, he had a secret crush on Sehun.Yixing doesn’t have any plans on paying attention to Sehun but the latter is always approaching him. Sehun treated him like his lover. He made him feel special. He made Yixing fall for him.  But when Yixing finally had a chance to express his feelings for him, why does Sehun stays away from him?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Cross posted on AFF: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1097815/this-certain-feeling-comedy-romance-exo-sehun-lay-layhun-ing

            Yixing yawned. He feels that his jaw will lock because he was yawning several times within just a few minutes. He is so bored staring at his computer which keeps on blowing radiation on his face. Nine hours have passed yet he can’t still write even a single letter.

 _What the heck!_ How will he earn money? He noticed that this past few weeks, he is always like this. He is always having a hard time writing a story. He just pushed himself to finish a novel because he doesn’t have that enough drive and motivation to write. That’s why his editor asked him to revised two novels. And the last novel that he passed was rejected by his editor. He said that it has no romance, as simple as that.

            “No, things shouldn’t stay this way.” Yixing told himself while he is talking to his own reflection from his monitor. “I have to pay my bills. Electricity, rent, credit cards, internet, laundry—argh!”

            He pulled his own hair, then walked away from his computer. He sat on his carpeted floor, leaned on the bed and he was about to turn the television on when he remembered that he need to save money by limiting his electricity use. Yixing just laid on the floor and stared at the ceiling.

            “Love story…romance…love.” He threw his arms and legs up. “This is so frustrating! Why can’t I think of anything romantic? I didn’t have any trouble last week. What is happening to me?”

            He rolled on his carpeted floor in the hopes of getting his brain also rolling and for it to start working. He was covered in dust because he wasn’t able to vacuum his floor but he can’t still think of a romantic story. When he heard his phone ring, he crawled towards the coffee table and took his phone.

            “Hello?”

            “Hey, ugly. Where’s the book of Stephen King that you have borrowed last week? I need it now. Let’s meet at the coffee shop outside your ugly condominium. I’m giving you fifteen minutes—no make it ten minutes. I’m already here. I don’t want to wait. Hurry up. If not, I will ask someone to demolish your ugly condominium. Okay? Bye.”

            Yixing knotted his forehead while looking at his phone when the call ended. The caller wasn’t registered on his contact list. But he doesn’t need to because he knew exactly someone who can speak to him like that.

            Yixing called the last number registered on his phone. “How did you know my number?”

            “It’s not your problem anymore, ugly. Just mind my books, will you? You only have eight minutes left. Hurry up.”

            Before Yxing could talk, the other person dropped the call for the second time. He angrily dialed the number. When he heard the other line picked up his call, he loudly shouted. “Who are you? Send me a message!” This time, Yixing dropped the call first. “Hah. What a jerk. I can’t even make myself move. Who are you to order me around like that?”

            He stayed lying on the floor and stared on the ceiling. He tried to make himself get up and write, but nothing’s happening. _See? I told you I can’t even command myself._

            He waited for his phone to ring again. _Hah!_ He’s ready to argue with the man of ever he tries to call him again. The man who recently called was a writer as well and they worked for the same company. Their only difference is that he writes…books. The ones that are sensible, thick, and difficult to read and no one is buying.

            Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case with that man’s books. His books were not sensible because the books are all full of mischief. He admits that there are many relevant ideas that are written because he was able to read the man’s works. Not that he wanted to read his works. He is just reading so that he can find something to criticize. But the thing is, he can’t find anything. As much as he hated it, his books are good. He was able to find a way for his readers to easily understand his books. That clever man uses preposterous ideas to send out his message. That’s why his works are popular. His works has a “rebel” touch in it.

            Yixing’s forehead knotted. “Why am I praising that monster? I hate him. He is an antagonist in my life.” He sighed and rolled on the carpeted floor. No need to think about that guy. He is just wasting his energy and time if he keeps on doing that. He will just think of other romantic things like—

            He heard a loud knock on the door of his unit. Without tidying himself and combing his now unruly hair from his constant rolling on the floor, he opened the door. The moment he knotted his forehead, the man on his front raised an eyebrow at him.

            “Who the hell are you?” The man asked. “What did you do to ugly?”

            “I’m your worst nightmare.” Yixing huffed. “I ate ugly for dinner last night.”

            Oh Sehun, the eternally flawless guy he had ever painfully known, just waved his hand in front of him, as if waving off some unwanted smell…

            “Next time, brush your teeth first before you face me.” Sehun said, then passed by him and went inside his unit. “Where are my books?”

            “Hey! Did I invite you in, huh? Huh?” Yixing faced Sehun and looked up at him because Sehun’s height is a little bit tall for his height which is around 177 cm. Sehun was around 181 to 182 cm. “I will sue you for trespassing, breaking in and entering violation—”

            “You’re so talkative. If you just returned the book that you have borrowed three months ago, I will be more than happy to leave.” Sehun sat regally on his couch. “Faster, move.”

            “You little—” Yixing can’t really believe it. He thought that Sehun just bullies them in their office. But he does it even in his own home. “You’re really unbelievable…”

            “I told you earlier that I was in the coffee shop and I need those books. I even came here even if you owe me something. You’re abusing me if you’ll make me find my books.” Sehun looked around his entire unit and stood up. “Well, I can easily find my books with a unit as small as this.”

            Yixing just placed his hands on his waist and lets Sehun look at the strewn books in the bookshelves and on the coffee table. Meanwhile, he just sat on the carpeted floor and looked at the ceiling again. He and Sehun are not that close, but he knew his attitude because they often see each other at the office of Haengseong Publishings. One of which is Sehun’s bossy attitude. Sometimes, he acts as if he is the owner of the publication because their boss seems to be intimidated to Sehun. Not to mention the expensive car of his. Well based on Sehun’s actions and refined speech, it seems like he came from a rich family and writing is just his hobby.

            _What a lucky guy._

            Yixing looked at his “guest.” He saw him going out of his room, carrying the books he was looking for. Sehun’s eyebrows are drawn together while looking at something on his hand. If it wasn’t for his attitude that he cannot understand, maybe he already used Sehun as a hero in the novels that he is writing. Oh Sehun had all the right ingredients to be the perfect hero in a romance story or real life. Sehun was tall, broad-shouldered, elegant, with a model-type body, and a handsome face that was only matched by his sharp tongue. And even if it hurts to admit, he had a small crush on Sehun. But before that crush bloomed into something deeper, he brushed off that feeling.

            Now he can’t understand why they are having this scene at the moment.

            “How did you know where I live?” Yixing asked Sehun.

            “Because I’m great.” Sehun wiped his hand on his pants, annoyed. “Can you clean your burrow? All kinds of dirt has inhabited here.”

            “There is only one kind of dirt.” Yixing looked at Sehun. He was really handsome. “Do you have a girlfriend, Sehun?”

            “A lot.” Sehun brushed his shirt this time. “Why?”

            “I just asked. I noticed that I don’t see someone with you when you’re going to the office.”

            “I don’t show them to you because they might get indigestion.” Sehun finally turned to him. “I won’t let you borrow my things next time.”

            And he was drawn again into Sehun’s eyes.

            “I just forgot to return it.” Yixing sat properly to look at Sehun. “Do you have a girlfriend as of this moment?”

            “Yes. It’s still a lot.” Sehun looked at his living room. “Can you clean your house? You smell like the things here. Nauseating.”

            “Hey, you’re just smelling so you can’t complain.” Sehun started to walk towards the door. “Sehun, wait.”

            “Why?”

            “Tell a story about yourself.” Sehun’s forehead knotted. “Fine, just leave.”

\-----------------------------

            “So, how’s Mister Writer?” Jihye, one of the waitress of the Emperor Café said. She placed the coffee on his table, smiling. “Bad hair day?”

            Yixing put on his hoodie so that no one will notice how messy his hair is. After Sehun left his condominium, he’s so bored that he decided to go to his favorite coffee shop outside their condominium. He’s frequent customer there because he makes his novels in the coffee shop and he always brings his laptop with him. He always go to the coffee shop whenever he gets bored and he likes to relax in the coffee shop because it has relaxing atmosphere, plus the aroma of his favorite coffee.

            But now, it seems like everything doesn’t have an effect on him. Because no idea is going in his mind right now.

            “You didn’t bring your trusted laptop today.” Jihye remarked.

            “I can’t write.” He held his cup and instantly felt the warmth. “Actually, I can’t write anything.”

            “Oppa has writer’s block? That’s difficult.”  Jihye said.

            Yixing just sighed. “I need something to stir up my drive to write again. And it can’t be solved by coffee anymore.”

            “Maybe you just need an inspiration.”

            As he frequently visits the coffee shop, Jihye became his friend and he always talks to the younger. And he was grateful, because he has someone to interact with besides himself. Because he is always in his unit. And because of this, Jihye became one of his loyal readers.

            “You know I don’t rely on inspiration when I’m writing my novels.”

            “Well, maybe it’s high time for you to rely on inspiration for you to write. And speaking of inspiration, I saw someone earlier that can be a hero in your novels.”

            “Really?” One image flashed on his mind. “Tall, handsome, and has a bored face?”

            “How did you know—”

            “He was in my condominium earlier.”

            “Woah! That hunky guy is in your unit? Why didn’t you call me? You must share your blessings.”

            “You’re really crazy.”

            “So, what’s his name?” Jihye sat on the chair opposite him. It’s okay since there are few customers. “What did you do in your condominium? And why are you here? The sun is still up.”

            “His name is Oh Sehun. Writer and collector of my books.”

            “Writer? Why doesn’t he look like a writer? He looks like a super-rich businessman. Did you know that when he entered this coffee shop, the whole world became at peace.”

            “Okay. Back to my problem—”

            “Why don’t you make Sehun as your inspiration? So that he will always come to our café and he will give life to this dull coffee shop.” Jihye looks around, making sure that the manager won’t hear her. “See? You’ll be hitting two _birdies_ with one _stonie_.”

            “Jihye, you’re making that up again.”

            “I’m right, aren’t I? You can write, and at the same time, you can make us all happy.”

            “Sehun is not what I need right now.”

            “Are you even human? How can’t that handsome man tickle your romantic side? He’s a perfect hero material!”

            “I don’t know. I really need something—”

            “A guy.” Jihye stood up when a customer came in. “You need a guy, my dear. Like this one—” She gasped. “Oh my gosh! T-that’s him! It’s him!”

            “Huh—aw!”

            “It’s him!” She squealed. “Cho Kyuhyun! One of the members of Exo Riding Club. Oh my gosh! Just stay here, oppa. I have to face my destiny.” Jihye faced the person. “Hello, beautiful person! Welcome to Emperor Café.”

            Yixing saw the man smiled. He can’t help but stare at him. The man was very good looking, and he meant very good looking. He can’t help but think of Sehun. The man that just came in is like him—elegantly handsome. After a while, three more men came in. They were probably the most handsome man he had ever seen, besides Sehun of course.

            _Wow! Talk about hitting two birdies with one stonie. Plus two more._

            It’s no surprise that Jihye’s smile can’t be ripped of her face. The coffee shop is flooded by handsome men.

            “Heechul, what do you want to have?”

            “Mocha frappe. Kris, Kai, how about you?”

            “Brewed coffee.”

            “I’ll have mocha frappe too.”

            “Order some more. The maknae will pay for all of this anyway.”

            Yixing watched the men place their orders while the poor cashier and the other customers are just gawking at them. Well, he can’t blame them. Because when these four handsome men will stand in front of him, he will gawk and admire them as well.

            Yixing’s forehead knotted. _Hey, wait a minute. Why am I not reacting like the customers?_ Why does it seem that the handsome men do not excite him or something? Maybe he’s weird. Is it the reason why he can’t write anything? _Oh, no._ It can’t be. He has bills to pay. He needs to feel something.

            Yixing went to the counter and fell in line behind the handsome men. But he wasn’t able to open his mouth yet when someone showed up behind him.

            “Hey, ugly! Fall in line properly.”

            The four men looked at him at the same time. He wants the ground to swallow him when he felt that his hoodie slowly slipped off his head. He was surrounded by five of the most handsome men on the earth and here he is, his unkempt and unruly hair exposed.

            He saw Sehun went to the counter.

            “You know him, Sehun?”

            “Unfortunately.” Sehun looked at him and looked at him from head to toe. He fixed the zipper of his jacket. “This is Zhang Yixing, my cowriter. Ugly, these are my friends. Heechul, Kyuhyun, Kai and Kris.”

            He was surprised of Sehun’s formal introduction that’s why he momentarily forgets his embarrassment. Especially when the men bowed to him.

            “Hi.”

            “`Nice to know Sehun’s cowriter.”

            “Nice.”

            “Hi.” Jihye piped and bowed at the men that are smiling at her too. “`Nice to meet you too, beautiful people.”

            While Jihye is talking to the four men, Yixing can’t help but look at Sehun that is now ordering on the counter. After paying for his orders, as well as his friends’, Sehun noticed that someone was looking at him so he turned to Yixing.

            “You want to order something too? I’m in the mood for spending money so I’ll pay.”

            Yixing doesn’t have an idea what’s happening to him and he just found himself going to the counter beside Sehun. The man looked at him.

            “What?” Sehun asked.

            He shook his head and pointed at the most expensive cake. “And a large latte too.”

            “Maybe you want to order more. It’s not yet enough.”

            “Are you complaining? I’ll take it back—”

            Sehun prevented him from leaving by wrapping his arms on his shoulder. “Where are you going? I already placed your order.”

            He looked at Sehun’s hand. He also noticed that Sehun’s friends are looking at them. He felt embarrassed so he squirmed away from Sehun’s hold.  Sehun just let him.

            “Just wait for your order.” Sehun said. He is holding his own order. “That’s already paid so don’t waste it. I don’t like spendthrift people. Let’s go, guys.”

            Sehun went out of the coffee shop first. The moment he rides his car, he sped away. His friends followed and they rode on their extravagant cars too.

            “I love those boys.” Jihye said. She is beside him and she is still looking at the door of the coffee shop. “Ever since I saw them at that sports equipment commercial.” She flipped her hair. “It’s not that obvious, isn’t it?”

            He too likes to change his views in life. It’s his first time to meet persons who are obviously in higher status but they can interact with ordinary person like him. He immediately grabbed his order.

            “I’m going, Jihye!”

            “You’re writing?”

            “Yes!”

            “I told you. All you need is a guy.”


	2. Chapter 2

            Yixing’s legs are starting to get numb from waiting for a bus. He had been standing for a few minutes already. He also wasn’t able to have breakfast or lunch before he left his condominium in a hurry to pass his novel. There wasn’t a restaurant or a store nearby their office. In addition to his problem, he wasn’t able to get a bus ride because there are also a lot of people like him waiting for a bus.

            That’s why he is here now; legs are becoming numb while his stomach is rumbling. He’s also sleepy and tired because he wasn’t able to rest because he wrote non-stop yesterday. He needed to finish his novels because he wasn’t able to pass anything for three weeks, besides the revisions needed and his rejected novels. _Oh, gosh._ Because in his line of job, no work means no pay. And he has so many bills to pay for.

            So even if his hands almost became numb and his brain almost melted because of writing and thinking of a story, he tried his best to finish on time. So he won’t allow his senses in writing are gone or else, he will be homeless.

            Yixing yawned for the second time. _Darn it!_ He wishes that a meteor will fall so that the other passengers will be gone so he can finally ride a bus home. Can he take a nap while standing? Maybe he can. Because he can’t really stay awake. Besides, he wears sunglasses. He will just a find a post or something where he can lean.

            Yixing let out a small scream when he heard a car blow its horn. He finds a stone that he can throw on that stupid car when its window slides down. And he saw that face again.

            “Hey, ugly. What are you doing here?”

            “Belly dancing.” Yixing answered sarcastically. “You, what are you doing here?”

            “Making you envious.”

            Yixing kicked the tire of Sehun’s car. “Can you leave? Or else I will throw an acid at you.”

            “Do you have that?”

            “Nope. But I will find the nearest acid to throw at you.”

            “You treat me like that even if I bought you ten cakes and one drum of coffee the other day.”

            “What do you mean ten? It’s just one piece of cake.”

            “It’s ten. You just thought one, because you were sleepy that day.”

            Yixing thinks for a second. Was it really ten? He wasn’t able to remember because he was so sleepy at that time and… Wait, why does he believe this guy? _Like, hello!_ Who is a crazy person that will buy and eat ten cakes in just one day?

            He’s ready to scream at Sehun when he felt something flicked on his head. _Ouch…_ “Whatever. Just find an alien that will talk to you.”

            He walked away from Sehun and finds a waiting shed with a seat so he can at least take a nap. But the other man just followed him with his car.

            “Sehun, I don’t have the time to joke with you. I’m hungry, tired, and sleepy. So if you want a war to happen right now, leave me alone.” His forehead knotted. “See? I’m rambling stuff.”

            Sehun opened the passenger door. “Get in.”

            “I don’t want to.”

            “You want to pass out in the middle of these people in broad daylight?”

            When Yixing felt something flicked on his head, he doesn’t think twice and jumped in the car. He wants to curse himself when he rejected Sehun’s offer to ride his car when he felt that very soft passenger seat.

            “What’s this? A bed?”

            “No. Stone block. Where will I drop you off?”

            “On the street five blocks away from here.” He rested his head on the headrest. “Don’t talk to me, okay? I will just meditate and internalize. Ah, by the way. Thank you.”

            “You’re welcome.”

            Yixing fixed his sunglasses so that Sehun can’t see that he will plan something bad. Then he closed his eyes.

\-----------------------------

            Yixing woke up when his head bumped against the window of the car. And because of pain, he immediately became aware of his surroundings. He was about to ask where he was because it was dark outside the car. He just remembered that he is in Sehun’s car when he saw the man beside him and sleeping.

            “What the…” He mumbled. “Why didn’t you wake me up earlier? What time is it and where on earth are we?”

            Yixing moved to ease his muscles because he’s sure that they will be cramped for sleeping in the same position for a longer time. Then he noticed a sweater that was placed on his body.

            “Whose sweater is this?” He smelled Sehun’s familiar perfume on that sweater. He looked at the man beside him. Sehun was still sleeping soundly. He reclined his seat to accommodate his sleeping. Sehun had his arms crossed over his chest. This is the first time that he is seeing Sehun sleeps. Yixing can’t help but smile.

            “You look like a nice guy when you’re asleep.” He just let himself gaze at Sehun. “I wish you’re always asleep. And you look good when you’re sleeping. You’re poised. Darn! You’re like a prince.”

            Yixing bit his lower lip when Sehun moved and faced him. But the latter was still sleeping. Now, he can clearly see his face. Sehun is really handsome. He can’t get enough of his handsome face that seems to be getting more and more handsome as he keeps on looking at him.

            “Sometimes, the world is really unfair.” Yixing said to himself. “Why can someone like you own everything? You are handsome, rich, and talented. No flaws at all. While the other people doesn’t have anything that you have.” He placed his chin on his hand while staring at Sehun. “I wanted to envy you. But I thought that when I own everything, my life will be boring. Because I will not have a goal in my life.” He sighed. “I wonder if someone like you is still looking for something.”

            Yixing thought that it is okay to have problems once in a while. At least he will realize something about life. That he’s still fortunate that he experiences going against the world. _Those problems are constant reminders to us that we’re still human after all._

            Yixing continued to watch the handsome face of the sleeping man. Then he reached out a hand to lightly touch his finger on Sehun’s cheek, just to make sure if it was smooth as it looked.

            “Wow…” Sehun’s face is really smooth. It’s really flawless.

            “What do you think you’re doing, ugly?”

            He was surprised so he immediately backed up from his seat. Sehun slowly opened his eyes. Those beautiful eyes of his…

            “W-Why do you keep on calling me ‘ugly’? I have a name, you know. Yixing—”

            “Ugly.” Sehun sat properly and glanced at his wristwatch. “It’s already evening. I overslept.”

            “My name is Yixing—hey, where are you going?” He said to Sehun after the other man stepped out of the car.

            “I will go to my house. I want to continue my sleep. You’re not the only writer who wasn’t able to get sleep last night.”

            Yixing gets out of the car too. “How about me?” He looked at his surroundings. Even one tree is unfamiliar to him. “I don’t know this place. Why didn’t you wake me up earlier so that I’m able to go home?”

            “You looked tired and very sleepy. I know the feeling, that’s why I didn’t wake you up.”

            Sehun opened the gate of the house that is in front of his parked car. “Hey! Why are you opening that?”

            “Well, duh. This is my house.”

            “Your house?” That small house?

            Sehun looked at him. “Go inside first. You slept for a long time. I’m hungry because I waited for you to wake up. I have lots of food in my house so you can eat.”

            “I want to go home.”

            “Fine.” Yixing caught the car key that Sehun tossed at him. “You can use my car. But I will eat because I am hungry. And then I’ll go to sleep.”

            “I don’t know how to drive!”

            “I have a guest room. With three locks.”

            Yixing was left dumbfounded to where he is standing. _Ah…what just happened?_ Because everything’s happening so fast, he wasn’t able to react. And because he doesn’t have any other choice because he can’t drive, he followed Sehun.

            The house is cozy and the furniture are simple. He wasn’t expecting that this is the type of house that Sehun lives in. Maybe he is really not that rich just like he thought.

            “You look disappointed.” Sehun said, standing in the kitchen and holding a glass of water.

            “No.” Yixing immediately said. “Well, I see you as a rich person. So I’m kind of expecting that you are living in a mansion.”

            “What will I do to a large mansion if I’m living alone?”

            “Yeah, you have a point.” Yixing handed the sweater that he’s holding. “Ah, thank you for this. But you should have waked me up earlier so that I won’t bother you.”

            “There’s food here in the kitchen.”

            “What type of food?” Before Sehun could answer, Yixing walked towards the kitchen. Before he could enter the kitchen, he looked at Sehun. “Is this for free?”

            “Why? You want to pay for it?”

            “I said I don’t have any money.”

            “If that’s the case, then don’t ask me a question.”

            He was about to take a step when he looked again at Sehun. “You didn’t put any love potions in it?”

            Sehun knotted his forehead in a funny way. “Why would I do that?”

            “I don’t know. I was just making sure.”

            “I don’t believe in that love potion you’re saying.”

            “Good.” He tapped Sehun’s shoulder and entered the kitchen.

            Placed on the table is five different dishes. His hunger doubled, so his stomach grumbled loudly. He looked at Sehun, hoping that he didn’t hear anything.

            “What’s that?”

            “Elephant.” Yixing sat in front of the table and put some food on his plate. His not embarrassed because he’s really hungry. “Who cooked this? You?”

            “I have a maid that cooks here every noon. She cooks plenty so that I can eat something for dinner.”

            “Ah.” Yixing nodded and brought food into his mouth. “That’s why it’s delicious.”

            “If you choke, I’ll just laugh at you.” Yixing just shrugged. “Why did you sleep in your car when you can go inside and rest well?”

            “I’m worried that you might steal my car if you woke up.”

            Yixing glared at Sehun. But it was obvious enough that Sehun was just teasing him, as always. So he just let him be.

            “But… thanks, anyway.” Yixing said. “The truth is, I plan on sleeping while I was standing waiting for the bus. I wasn’t able to sleep since yesterday.”

            “I thought so.”

            Yixing was about to put food in his mouth when he halted. Then he looked at Sehun. “You know that I was planning something?”

            “You were standing unsteadily. And you’re even looking down. Even a blind person can say that you were about to sleep in your position earlier.”

            “Really?” If that’s the case then his acting was not even convincing. “I guess I was too obvious.”

            “Not really. I am just more observant than most of the people because we have the same profession. I am better than you, anyway.”

            “Yeah, right.” Yixing said sarcastically. “I am more famous than you.”

            “We are at the same level when it comes to that.”

            “Excuse me?”

            “Okay, I’m wrong. I am more famous than you.”

            “Whatever!” Yixing looked at the food in front of Sehun. “Is that delicious?”

            Sehun picked up a piece of meat with his own chopsticks and fed it to Yixing. “Hmm. It is delicious. Can I eat this?” Then they both looked at the door that can be seen from their direction. “You have a visitor, Sehun.”

            Sehun excused himself regally to open the door. While he is left internalizing the way Sehun elegantly wiped his mouth with a table napkin. He’s really like a prince.

            “You have someone with you!? Just admit it already, Sehun!”

            Yixing’s chopsticks were still in his mouth when a woman entered the kitchen. She gave him a dirty look.

            “So you were the one that Sehun took as a replacement for me.”

            “Huh?”

            “I can’t believe this. Of all the people in the world, you chose someone who doesn’t have a breeding, Sehun! You’re insulting me!”

            Yixing removed the chopsticks in his mouth and looked at the woman from head to toe. “So I am the one who doesn’t have a breeding? Who is this someone that goes to a man’s house to confront the person who is obviously chosen by Sehun over them?”

            “How dare you!” The woman was about to slap Yixing but he was fast. He was able to block her hands using his chopsticks.

            “Eunbin, that’s enough.” Sehun said calmly but firm. “Yixing is my cowriter and he is my visitor. If you’re going to disrespect him in my own house, I’m afraid I’d have to ask you to leave. We should just talk some other time when you’re not angry.”

            Yixing looked at Sehun, wondering. His expressions are all serious before but now, it seems like the other guy is in a bad mood.

            “I don’t believe that he is just a simple cowriter and visitor, Sehun! Tell me. Are you in love with him?”

            “Yes.”

            Yixing just flinched when the woman slapped Sehun. Because his skin is fair, he can immediately see the red mark on his handsome face. And he can’t believe that he feels sorry for Sehun.

            “I hate you!” The woman started crying. “Why are you like that? I didn’t listen to everyone when they said that you cannot love someone because I really love you! Why couldn’t you stop hurting the feelings of the people who came into your life? Why are you always hurting us?” The woman repeatedly slapped Sehun’s chest who’s not saying anything until now.

            Yixing feels that he is the one who feels hurt for Sehun. Eunbin’s slaps hurts. But Sehun doesn’t react. He just let the woman beat him. When Eunbin’s palm landed on Sehun’s cheek for the second time, he stood up to stop her. But Sehun secretly told him to just let her. Yixing secretly signaled him that he will just let the woman beat him for ten seconds and if she doesn’t stop, he will interfere.

            Yixing understands the woman’s sentiment, but maybe her few minutes of hitting Sehun is enough. He is ready to pull the woman’s hair when she finally stopped.

            “You don’t deserve to be happy, Sehun.” The woman said. “Because you don’t know how to love.” And with one last painful look, the woman walked out of the house.

            “Here.” Yixing handed Sehun a glass of water. “Something to console you.”

            Sehun silently accepted the water but he didn’t drink it. He just sat on his chair and continued eating.

            “Sehun.” The man looked at him. “You need a hug?”

            “You’re just hungry, Yixing.”


	3. Chapter 3

            “You’re really in a bad mood, aren’t you? You called me by my name.” Yixing said to Sehun.

            “You want me to call you by your name, right? Why are you complaining?” Sehun said.

            “Why are you getting all grumpy at me? I wasn’t the one who hurt you, Sehun. I’m your cowriter and your visitor here, remember? So don’t use that tone on me because I was just sympathizing on you. I’m not your enemy.” Yixing picked up his glass and drank from it. “Phew! It was tiring explaining.”

            Sehun is just staring at him as if he can’t believe in what he just heard. Then he leaned against his seat and smiled. Sehun even planned on hiding it because he covered his mouth and coughed forcefully. He didn’t even look at him for a short period of time. On his part, he was surprised Sehun could actually smile like that. It seems like he wasn’t in a bad mood anymore and he even saw Sehun’s eyes shine. Yixing smiled in return.

            It was nice to see him act like a human again.

            “So you know how to smile, huh? I thought smiling is not in your vocabulary.”

            “What do you think of me? A robot?”

            “Yes.”

            “Pay for your dinner.”

            “Woah. You can’t take a joke. I mean, you are a person who is great at smiling. Look at that smile, it’s beautiful! You can even do a toothpaste commercial. That is what you call a million-dollar smile.”

            “Just eat, will you?” Sehun placed more food on his plate. “Here. It’s hard to reheat this.”

            “Wow! You really worked hard for this dish, huh.”

            Sehun didn’t answer. Maybe because he just want him to eat in peace. But because he believe that smart people ask questions, he asked Sehun.

            “You are not… following your girlfriend?” Sehun halted on bringing the food in his mouth. “It seems like she really loves you. And if you’ll follow her and apologize, I’m sure that she’ll forgive you.”

            “Let’s just not talk about Eunbin.”

            “But—”

            “I said that’s enough.”

            “But I was feeling bad for her.” Sehun looked at him with wonder. “I am the reason why you two have broken up.”

            “Don’t flatter yourself too much, Yixing. It’s not your fault.”

            “But—”

            “It’s my fault. I forgot that Eunbin is coming over.”

            “If that’s the case then you should really follow her. Apologize to her. Your relationship will be worthless if you let her go that easily.” Yixing even tapped his chopsticks on his bowl for emphasis. “Fight for your love! You shouldn’t give up—”

            “I don’t love her.”

            “I really want to punch you!” It was Yixing’s turn to lean back against his seat and stare at Sehun. “If you don’t love her, why did she become your girlfriend?”

            “It’s none of your business.”

            _Ouch. This guy has a point._ He kicked Sehun under the table.

            “Ouch!” Sehun protested. “Why did you do that for?”

            “Because you’re such a jerk. If you don’t feel anything for the woman then you shouldn’t have made her your girlfriend so that you can’t hurt someone. Oh gosh, to think that I even thought on sympathizing on you for Eunbin hitting you earlier. You deserved to be hit in the first place. And not because you fed me and I was full it doesn’t mean that you can be grumpy on me.” Yixing took his wallet and placed 10000 won on the table. “Here’s my payment.” He was about to stand up when he realized something. He took the 10000 won and replaced it with 5000 won. “It’s just 5000 won in a restaurant. Good bye.” He pointed to the food.

            After drinking his water, he headed towards the exit. If Sehun thinks that he is like his lovers who easily give up on him, well he is wrong. First, he is not Sehun’s lover. Second, he really hated when a person hurts someone, whether purposely or not. That was called “unfair” in his book. He is already in front of the gate when he stopped and took a deep breath.

            “Ugly.” He heard Sehun called him.

            He turned and glared at Sehun. “You’re ugly too.”

            Sehun smiled. He felt that his pride crumbled when he saw that smile. Plus, that cute eye smile that seems to lighten up the entire street. His anger melted like an ice cream under the sun.

            “I will bring you to your condominium. It’s difficult to look for a public transportation here. And besides, it’s already late for you to take a bus.”

            “Aren’t you going to apologize?”

            “You already kicked me earlier.” Sehun opened the car door for him. “It’s enough.”

            “I’m not yet satisfied.”

            “It’s not my problem anymore.”

            Yixing placed a hand on his waist. Sehun can’t really stop being cranky.

            “Look, you and Eunbin already threw punches and kicks on me.” Sehun sighed. “Give me a break.”

            Then he remembered Eunbin’s hard slap on Sehun earlier. He took a step to look at Sehun’s cheek. But then Sehun turned to him so he backed off and got into the passenger seat instead. He didn’t know why he felt shy when Sehun immediately turned to him. Maybe he felt shy. When Sehun closed the passenger door, he get inside the car too. After a few minutes, they are already on the road. He can’t say anything because he can still feel that unusual feeling earlier.

            “You’re quiet.” Sehun said. “What’s the matter this time?”

            “Nothing.” Yixing bravely looked at Sehun. Then he saw his perfect profile, and he became aware of the strange thumping of his heart.

            Yixing shook his head. _Aaah! What is this?_ He slapped himself so that he will be awake from whatever he is feeling right now. Which is effective by the way. But his face hurts.

            “Later, put a cold compress on your face that Eunbin slapped.” Yixing said. “It might have a bruise.”

            Sehun didn’t answer. Yixing didn’t look at Sehun so he ddoesnt know if he takes his words seriously or not. And what’s making him confused is his reaction to Sehun earlier.

            Why did he suddenly felt weird earlier when he glanced at Sehun? And the most weird thing is it just happens in the characters in the book that he is writing. Why does it happen to him now?

            _Oh no…_

_\-----------------------------_

            Yixing wonders why Jihye was not the one who brought him his order. Usually, she is the one who brings his coffee and she usually talks to him when there are few customers at the café.

            “Where is your manager?” Yixing queries.

            “She’s in her office, sir. She’s talking with a guy named… Yonghwa, I think?”

            Well that’s new. Jihye is talking to a guy. In her office. He never saw his friend bring someone in her office. Let alone a guy. Yixing waited for Jihye so he could ask about the guy. But for now, he just thinks about everything that happened last night at Sehun’s house.

            He’s still daydreaming when someone tapped his shoulder. He saw Jihye grinning at him like she’s gone crazy or something. “I heard some news.”

            “News?”

            “Yeah, My crew saw you last night with that handsome guy who brought you cake and coffee last week.” Jihye’s eyebrow wriggled. “Is he your inspiration right now?”

            “What? Are you hallucinating or something? Oh, speaking of inspiration. Who is that Yonghwa guy—” Yixing tried to divert the conversation.

            “Nice try, Yixing but nope. You don’t succeed. Anyway, this is the only time that there’s an interesting thing that happened to my favorite romance novelist. Come on, tell me the whole story. What happened to you and Mr. I-am-always-bored face? Are you two together? When are you planning to get married? How many children do you want to have?”

            “His name is Sehun, okay?” Yixing sipped his drink. “And he’s not my boyfriend. He and his girlfriend just broke up.”

            “If that’s the case, then why are you together last night?”

            “He just brought me home because I had dinner at his house last night.” Jihye giggled. And he just sighed. “You’re really hopeless, Jihye.”

            “Well, isn’t that nice? He just broke up with his girlfriend and you’re already seeing each other. You really can’t wait to be officially together, right?”

            “Whatever. Why am I even talking to you? You’re crazy.”

            “Are you in love with him?”

            “No.”

            “Okay. But do you like him?”

            Yixing just laughed while disagreeing to Jihye. Then the woman left because there is a new customer. And he needs to return in writing his novel.          

            “You like him, don’t you?” Jihye said before she can even reach the counter. “Just admit it already! Don’t worry, you’re not the only one who likes Mr. I-am-always-bored face. I like him too. You should always share the good stuff.”

            “You’re really crazy!”

            “Just admit that you like him so that I will just leave him to you.”

            Yixing turned to Jihye. “I don’t like him! Okay?”

            “Why not? He’s handsome. Not to mention, rich too. And most especially, he has so many handsome friends!”

            “And he’s cranky too. Likes to tease me. And I’m ugly for him. And most especially, he has so many girlfriends!”

            “Hey, ugly. Why are you noisy?”

            Because of his shock, he immediately turned to the one who talked behind him. It was Sehun. The result is, his coffee spilled on him. Good thing that it is not hot. But Sehun’s shirt is really wet and the brown stain is obvious on his dress shirt.

            “Oh! I’m sorry!”

            The crew immediately gave him tissues to wipe Sehun’s hands and some drops of coffee on his face. Sehun just let him wipe the coffee but he can see that the man is already in bad mood based on how his forehead knotted. It was no use patting the coffee stain.

            “Sorry…” Yixing gave Sehun an apologetic smile. “It’s your fault. Why did you startled me?”

            “So, it’s my fault now?” Sehun took the box of tissues from him and tried to save his shirt. He sighed.

            “Do you have a spare shirt with you, Sir?” Jihye asked. Being a good manager that she is, she approached them.

            “Yes, I have a spare shirt in my car.” Sehun turned to Yixing with a knotted forehead and it made him guilty.

            “I said I’m sorry…”

            “Yixing, since your condominium unit is just in front of the café,” Jihye said. “Let Sir change his clothes on your bathroom. Our washroom here is under renovation so…”

            He had a distinct feeling that Jihye was just trying to manipulate them. _That crazy woman…_

            “Ugly.”

            He turned to Sehun. “You’re ugly too.”

            “Why are you still standing there?”

            “Nothing. I just want to belly dance.”

            “Funny.” Sehun then took his hand and hustled him out of the coffee shop.

            Yixing can still hear Jihye’s shriek together with her crew. But he doesn’t pay that much attention to it because he is occupied with that unknown sensation that is brought by his and Sehun’s clasped hands. Especially when Sehun still holds his hand when he opened his car trunk to get the space shirt and locked it.

            And Sehun is also the one who leads him to his condominium building. And he is definitely sure that whoever is seeing them is thinking that they are in a relationship because they entered the said building, holding each other’s hand.

            “Ugly.” Sehun said. “Where is your elevator?”

            “Why didn’t you know? You already came here, right?”

            “I took the stairs then.”

            “Why did you take the stairs?”

            “It’s for me to know and for you to find out. Now, where’s your elevator? You have to make it quick because I’m starting to feel sticky.”

             Yixing tugged at their clasped hands to lead him to the elevator while thinking how Sehun managed to go to his unit in such a short time when his unit is located on the fifth floor. And he doesn’t saw any signs of tiredness on Sehun at that time. Yixing just looked on their hanads when he felt Sehun stopped.

            “What?”

            “We just passed by the elevator.”

            He looked at where Sehun is pointing at. He’s right. They went back. “You’re right.”


	4. Chapter 4

            Yixing can’t stay still because he hears the water running in his bathroom. He is tensed for an unknown reason. Why did he even listen to Jihye’s suggestion that Sehun should shower and change in his condominium unit? He’s panicking right now.

            “Wait, why am I being like this?” Yixing asked himself. “Sehun is just changing his clothes in my bathroom. After that, he will leave. And I shouldn’t be panicking. Like, hello! I was just helping–”

            “Hey, ugly.”

            “Oh my God!” His leg bumped the side of the couch when he moved away from shock. “Why are you…”

            Yixing didn’t even have a chance to continue speaking when he saw the other man. Sehun is already out in the bathroom. His hair is a little bit wet from washing his face. Sehun wasn’t even wearing a shirt. Yixing’s knees felt weak while he is looking at Sehun’s wonderful body.   

_How could he have this hot body?!_

            “Why are you not wearing any shirt?” He demanded. “I thought you were just changing your clothes? Why are you like that? How dare you!”

            “Oh, don’t cry. I’ll put on a shirt.” Sehun let go of the towel he had around his neck and put on his striped shirt in front of him, giving Yixing full access to those rippling muscles of Sehun.

            “Sehun!”

            “What?”

            “You’re so lewd! Wear your shirt! I haven’t seen someone naked before! My eyes are not virgin anymore, thanks to you!”

            “What?”

            “Nothing! I’ll just talk to myself.” He went to the kitchen to grab a cold drink. His unit became suddenly warm. “I should talk to the management. My unit’s air conditioning unit must be broken—”

            “Ugly.”

            Yixing turned to the other man. Sehun, now fully dressed, was standing by the kitchen door. He had his arm resting on the door frame, looking so incredibly cool and good-looking as he watched him with those incredibly sexy eyes of his.

            _Why are you like that? There’s nothing ugly to you._  His heart doesn’t stop beating fast. He won’t be surprised if he will have a heart attack right now.

            “W-why…?”

            “I’m leaving. Thank you for letting me use your bathroom.”

            “You’re welcome.”

            Sehun looks at him for a few seconds without saying anything. He tried to look at a different direction to think of anything that he can say to Sehun to make the other man stop looking at him. But before he can say anything, Sehun already started walking towards him. He stepped backwards until his back hit the refrigerator. He even tried to get away again but it was just too late. Because Sehun is already in front of him and he had his arms on both sides of the refrigerator, making it impossible for him to go anywhere.

            “Are you avoiding me?” Sehun asked.

            “No. I just forgot to do something. So, if you’ll excuse me, can you please let me pass?” He was just so proud of himself for acting so cool in front of Sehun. Even when his heart is about to burst out of his chest. He cleared his throat. “Excuse me.”

            Sehun’s amazing eyes sparkled in amusement. He smiled.

            And Yixing’s doomed.

            “Thank you.” Sehun placed the towel that he used on his head. “Yixing.”

            He stilled. _Yixing?_ Now he even called him by his first name. He removed the towel from his head to properly look at Sehun but the man started to walk out of the kitchen. He doesn’t dare to follow him. He doesn’t have any strength left to risk his heart on that same but weird feeling. Because he is a romance writer, he is having a clear picture of what he is experiencing right now towards Sehun.

            “Oh, God.” He muttered then tapped his chest where his heart is still beating wildly. “Oh, no. Oh, heck.” He slapped his face this time. “Oh, shit! That hurts!”

_\-----------------------------_

            Yixing eye twitched as his cursor moves at the same time. Just like the last time, he is still staring at his computer screen and can’t write even a single letter.

            He grabbed his hair, frustrated. “What kind of writer am I if I wasn’t able to write anything?”

            He left his computer and went to the living room. He packed away all of the mess in there. He removed the water from the flower vase, and even fed his goldfish pets. He even tried moving his couch to the other side of the room when he heard that familiar voice.

            “Ugly.”

            He looked between his legs and saw Sehun, who has his hands on his trouser pockets while his head was slightly cocked to one side, as if trying to see his face.

            _My, my. Look at that handsome man_ — _wait! Why am I praising this one?_

            Yixing immediately stood properly. “What are you doing here?”

            “You, what are you doing?”

            “Just throwing some trash.”

            “Wow. You got a little trash over there.” Sehun referred to the couch. “Why don’t you vacuum that so that you won’t be tired?”

            “Okay.”

            As Yixing sat on the couch’s armrest, he can properly see Sehun and he can’t help but remember all of the weird feeling that Sehun stirred in him when he was in his condominium the last time. And until now, all is clear to him at this moment. Yet he still can’t accept it. The problem is, the more he looks at Sehun, the more his heart beats wildly. In fact, now that Yixing thought about it, it seems like he’s feeling agitated right now and can’t concentrate on his writing because… he doesn’t see Sehun. He misses him.

            “I don’t miss you!” Yixing blurted out. He gasped and placed his hands on his lips.

            _What the hell! Why did I say that?_ Now, Sehun is giving him weird looks. Good thing, he noticed Hyeonchul-ssi, their condominium’s housekeeper.

            “Hey, Hyeonchul-ssi! I don’t miss you!”

            The middle-aged man just scratched his head and continued walking across the hall. He’s safe.

            _I should give Hyeonchul-ssi some jjajangmyeon later._

            “So why did you come here, Hyeon—I mean” _Oh damn!_ “Sehun?” Again, Sehun just looks at him weirdly. There’s no reaction that can be seen on his handsome face. Oh heck! Yixing just smiled.

            “What was that?” Sehun lazily asked.

            “Your imagination.” He is safe again. “So why did you stumbled upon my humble abode? Is there anything that I can do for you?”

            “Yeah.” Sehun walked towards him.

            For an unknown reason, Yixing becomes alarmed so he immediately stood up and stepped away from Sehun. But the latter didn’t notice that because he effortlessly pushed the couch using his leg towards its original place.

            “I left my shirt here the other day.” Sehun pushed the couch again and looked at him. “Do you still have it? Or did you throw it in the trashcan too?”

            “No, of course not!”

            “Okay, well where is it? So that I can go now. It seems like you’re busy with…” Sehun motioned at his living room. “Cleaning.”

            “Ah… wait.”

            Yixing immediately went to his bathroom. He searched the hamper for the said pullovers but it’s not there. The hamper itself is missing. _Where did that go?_ He went out of the bathroom and went to his own room to search for it but it is still not there.

            “Problem?”

            Yixing was shocked so he took a step backwards when Sehun spoke.

            “Uh…” He turned to face Sehun. Again, he found himself gawking at him while looking at Sehun’s handsome face. “I-I can’t see your eyes—I mean, your… your…” _Darn it!_

            Yixing screamed loudly. It is obvious that Sehun is looking at him weirdly but he doesn’t say anything. Good thing that Sehun chose not to speak because he might give him karate chop if he did. Yixing took a deep breath and it somehow helped in clearing his hazy mind. He calmed a bit even if he still feels nervous. At least now, he can face Sehun properly.

            “Your pullovers isn’t here.”

            “Shirt.”

            “Shirt.” Yixing gestured at his whole unit. “Nothing. Don’t worry, I’ll give it back to you once I found it. I’ll leave it in our office and you can get it there, if ever.”

            “If ever what?”

            “If ever I find it.” Don’t try to make me think deep. My head’s starting to hurt.” Yixing scratched at his head. He’s also starting to feel okay. All that he needs to do is to shout again so that his mind will be clear. “I’m sorry. I’m really like this when I’m cleaning. I can’t remember where I put the things that I pack away. But I’ll find your pullovers…”

            “Shirt.”

            “Shirt.” Yixing turned to Sehun and he couldn’t help smiling. “Let’s just refer to it as clothes so that we can agree to each other, okay?”

            Sehun didn’t say anything. But Yixing could see he was suppressing a smile. That was good enough to calm his system even more.

            Yeah… maybe he did miss Sehun. Because now his imagination is starting to work again. He wants to go to his room and start writing but he doesn’t want Sehun to leave his sight. Maybe he could stay with him for a while…

            “You’re cleaning your house.” Sehun said. “You can’t write?”

            “How did you know that?”

            “We’re both writers. I do that too if I can’t write. Just like today.”

            “Oh?” _How nice._ They both have similarities aside from being writers. “But why are you here? You should be at your own house and doing your own version of cleaning.”

            “I’m too lazy to do that. I already cleaned my house last week. I also become irritated when I see my surroundings so clean. I can’t concentrate.”

            “Now your house is dirty. And because you are lazy to clean your house, you are bothering me in my own lair.”

            “Of course not. Have you not heard me earlier? I said I was just getting my shirt that I left here the other day.”

            “Okay.” Yixing looked in his own living room. “Well, as I said earlier, I will just look for your clothes. I’m sorry of I can’t entertain you. My living room is a mess.”

            “Don’t worry. I will entertain you instead.”

            “What?”

            “Let’s go for a coffee.”


	5. Chapter 5

            “What’s with you? Why did you treat me for a coffee, Sehun?”

            “My wealth increased.” Sehun stirred his coffee. “I need to cut it down a little.”

            “Ouch.” Yixing’s feeling good so he just let Sehun say whatever he wants. “It must be hard to be rich.”

            “It’s fine.”

            “You don’t want to?”

            “Who doesn’t want to be wealthy?”

            “You have a point.” Yixing glanced at Jihye behind the counter, and the latter is grinning at him. It’s obvious that she is teasing him. He just smiled at her sarcastically. “So why aren’t you writing anything? Don't you have an inspiration?”

            “I don’t believe in inspiration when it comes to writing. I’m more of grounding my drive to write on my mood.”

            “Ah. We’re different. I based it on inspiration.”

            Sehun picked up his cup of coffee with so much elegance. Yixing is just amazed of all of Sehun's movements so he was just staring at him the whole time. Because it seems that Sehun never commits mistakes and if he does, that would be something worth seeing.

            “So you mean, you don’t have any inspiration that’s why you can’t write?”

            “Most likely, yeah.”

            “Where do you get your inspiration?”

            “Handsome guys, mostly.” Yixing looked at Sehun. He almost spat his coffee when he saw Sehun’s brown eyes. Then his heart went overdrive again. He looked at the potted plant near the entrance to shift his attention somewhere else as he quickly thought of an excuse. “But as of this moment, I can’t find a handsome guy so I can’t write yet.”

            “Why don’t you look around?” Sehun simply asked. “How will you write if you are not doing anything to solve your problem?”

            Yixing looked at Sehun. Because he was really surprised with what the younger had just said.

            “You don’t think I’m weird? I mean, he reason why I can’t write?”

            “No. Anyone has their own preference. If that’s the way you can write effectively, then it’s perfectly fine.” Sehun must have noticed that he is gawking at him. “What?”

            “Nothing…” Yixing just smiled. A smile that came from his heart. “You are the only one who doesn’t criticize me of that habit of mine. When someone asks what my inspiration is, they were just laughing at me or they just find me weird.”

            “They don’t know how a writer’s mind works. So just let them be.” Sehun put down his cup. “We are like that to them anyway. Sometimes, we see them as weird. The ones that can’t understand the weirdness of us writers, I mean.”

            Wasn’t that really sweet? Yixing is speechless. Because he doesn’t expect that he will see this side of Oh Sehun. Now, he doesn’t just admire Sehun’s looks, he admires his personality too.

            “You want another cup of coffee?’ He asked the other man. His voice is cheerful. “It’s on me this time.”

            “No, thanks. This is enough for me.” Sehun took a sip on his cup.

            “Cakes?” Sehun shook his head. “Massage?”

            As an answer, Sehun tapped his shoulder, indicating that he wants a massage. Yixing stood up energetically and flexed his fingers then stood behind Sehun.

            “Hard or soft?” But before Sehun can answer, he already massaged his shoulders. “You know what Sehun, you are a nice guy. Before, I thought that you don’t have any purpose in my life but to tease me.”

            “When did I ever tease you?”

            “If I tell you, this shop will close but I will not be finished yet.”

            “But this coffee shop is 24-hours open.”

            “Exactly.”

            Sehun looked up at him. Yixing was again entranced with his beautiful eyes of his, especially his eyes that seemed to be seducing him.

            “Did I offend you?” Sehun asked.

            _Aaah! Don’t be too nice to me!_ “No.”

            “I’m sorry anyway.” He stopped massaging Sehun. But the latter just held his hands and placed it again on his shoulder. “Yixing.”

            Yixing just pulled his hands finally. He thought that Sehun will stop him. Good thing not because he isn’t that sure of what he’ll do if ever.

            “You called me by my name.”

            “Why are you surprised?”

            “You never called me by my name.”

            Sehun just shrugged, then turned to his coffee. “You don’t want it?”

            Does he not want it? That was the first time he ever heard his very ordinary name sound so special.

            “It’s okay—”

            “Go back to your seat, ugly. Your coffee is getting cold.”

            _Ugly again._ He frowned. He is annoyed with what Sehun is calling him. Even if how many times he reprimands him, Sehun will just call him that again. Sometimes it’s worse. So he is used to it by now.  He finally returned to his seat.

            “If you don’t want me to call you ugly, why are you not castigating me?” Sehun said.

            “I’m scolding you. You just don’t feel it.”

            “You must be lacking in effort.”

            “And what are you implying? That I like being called ugly?”

            “Yes.”

            “You’re crazy. Whose person wants to be called ugly?”

            “You.”

            “I’m not ugly!”

            “I like calling you ‘ugly’.”

            “You’re ugly too!”

            Sehun just smiled and turned his attention back to his coffee. Yixing just sighed. He gave up on castigating Sehun.

            “Yixing.”

            “Okay!” Yixing screamed when he heard his name being said in that way. “You can call me ‘ugly’ forever! As long as you want! I won’t complain!”

            Sehun winced. “You don’t have to shout, you know?”

            “Okay!”

            “Hey, ugly. You want an inspiration?”

            “Inspiration?”

            “Yes. You said that handsome guys are your inspiration, right?”

            “Yes.” _Someone like you._ “Why?”

            “I’m taking a short break, to get my mood to write again.”

            “Why? Where did your mood went?”

            “It went to Mars.” Sehun huffed in annoyance.

            “Really?”

            “Don’t be corny. I’m still explaining.”

            “You’re the one who’s corny. And a party-pooper too.”

            “Yixing.”

            “Okay!” He made a peace sign. “Please continue.”

            Sehun declined. And he didn’t say anything. Yixing became bothered. He was curious of what Sehun wants to say because it seems interesting. What should he do to make Sehun talk again and for his irritability to pass off?

            “Sehun.” He called. “You want me to massage you again?”

            “No, thanks.”

            “Sehun!”

            He and the younger looked at the direction of the person who called him. At the counter, where Jihye looked like she saw an apparition, stood three tall and handsome guys. _Just like Sehun._

            The man who is leaning against the counter raised his hand as a greeting. “So you stay here, huh? No wonder we can’t see you at Exo Riding Club anymore.”

            “Why are you here, Yesung?”

            “Kyuhyun and Heechul told us that the coffee here is delicious.”

            _Kyuhyun? Heechul?_ So these handsome guys know each other?

            “Sehun?” Yixing whispered. “Does all of your friends are like that?”

            “Like what?”

            “Handsome, tall, and rich?”

            “Yes.”

            “It must be nice to write a story about you. Imagine, a group of hunks. Do you have any sanctuary?”

            “Yes.”

            “Where?”

            “At Exo Riding Club.”

            “What’s that?”

            “An exclusive riding club in Incheon.”

            It seems that the place is really familiar. Yixing snapped his fingers. The renowned Exo Riding Club! He gave a once-over to the handsome guys near their table. “Are you a member there?” He asked Sehun.

            “Isn’t it obvious?”

            “Right.” Yixing cleared his throat and glanced at the newcomers. “”If there are a lot of them in Exo Riding Club, please bring me there sometime. Well, you even asked me if I want an inspiration, right? The answer is yes.”

            He doesn’t hear any answer from Sehun. So he smiled at one of the three guys when he waved at him.

            “Are you the new boyfriend of Sehun?”

            “No!” Yixing denied quickly. “I’m not his type. I’m ugly.”

            “I never said you’re ugly.” Sehun seriously said. “I only called you that as a name.”

            “Okay. Will you bring me to Exo Riding Club?”

            “No.”

            “You selfish man!”

            “You can bring him, Sehun.” One of the guys said. “So that another handsome guy will be added in the club.”

            “Yesung.” Sehun piped. “Keep quiet or I’ll tell Yuri-noona that you’re misbehaving again.”

            “Tell her, then.” Yesung turned to him. “So, how’s Sehun as a date? Is he—”

            “We are going, Sehun.”  Heechul and Kyuhyun pulled Yesung that is still taking. “Enjoy your day.”

            “See you at the club.”

            Yixing followed his gaze at the retreating men. His reaction is identical with most of the customers in the coffee shop.

            “There is God!” He heard one of the female customers said.

            Yixing just chuckled as well as the other customers. He excitedly looked at Sehun.

            “Se—”

            “No.”

            He already knows what he wanted to say? “Why not? We’re friends, right?”

            “Who told you that?”

            Yixing frowned. Why is he so grumpy today? “You’re not going to bring me there? Then why are you asking me if I want an inspiration? Who will you suggest to become my inspiration?”

            Sehun stayed quiet. Yixing eyes narrowed while looking at him. There’s some sort of excitement that he feels in his heart.

            “You…?”

            Sehun turned to him at last. “Yeah, right.”

            Then Sehun stood up and left him. He just looked at him, puzzled.

            _Oh no, what happened? Why did he walk out? Did I say something wrong? I’m not ugly…_

            “Zhang Yixing!” Jihye shouted from the counter. “Follow that handsome guy!”

            “Why?”

            “What ‘why’? I know that you are thinking of going in Exo Riding Club. I asked one of the handsome guys earlier. He said that your Sehun is a member there. Just follow him and don’t let him go. Because he is your only access to get in the club. And before I forgot, if ever you get there, don’t forget your smart friend who suggested using your Sehun to—hey, where are you going?”

            “I’m going to talk to someone else.”

            “Hey, don’t be like that!”

            “Bye.”

            “Yixing oppa! Please include me in your dreams of having a handsome boyfriend!”


	6. Chapter 6

            Yixing is busy chewing his footlong sandwich that he bought in a food stand. There are a lot of people in the area while loud music can be heard. He can see the cute Halloween costumes of the children as well as adults who are participating in the event. Because there will be a Halloween parade in their area, Yixing decided to go out of his condominium unit to interact with other people. And besides, he wants to be a normal person even just for a night.

            More people came into the parade. The creativity of the participants is amusing. Their costumes are all scary. He laughed when he saw some people ran away when they saw the costumes; especially the children who tried their best to hide themselves from their parents’ backs. He was busy laughing at the other when one of the paricipants—acting as the classic Sadako—suddenly appeared in front of him. Due to his shock, he shouted so loud and dropped his food.

            “What the—hey! Pay for my food!” He said to Sadako who quickly crawled away. “You think you can get away from me, huh!? Come back here!”

            But when he tried to squeeze himself into the crowd, someone grabbed him by his waist. It’s natural for him to panic so he squirmed and tried to slap the bastard who holds him.

            “Hey, stop it!”

            Yixing immediately recognized the voice so he stopped. “Sehun?”

            He saw a pair of amazing brown eyes, now made even darker and sexier under the poor-lit street.

            “I was just trying to get you out of trouble. You don’t have to be that violent.”

            “Sorry. I thought you are a pervert so…” Yixing noticed that Sehun is rubbing his arms and chest that he slapped a while ago. “Sorry. Does it hurt?”

            “No.” Sehun answered sarcastically.

            “It’s your fault. Why did you suddenly appeared behind me, anyway?”

            “I was already here earlier.”

            “Why aren’t you talking, then?”

            “I was busy.”

            “With what?”

            “Watching.”

            Yixing doesn’t have an idea why Sehun’s answer feels like it means something else. Maybe because he was intently looking at him. And his heart doesn’t even help. He doesn’t want to think about it, but it seems like he is the one that Sehun is watching.

            “It’s better to watch the participants than bother you.”

            _So much for thinking that he only watches you_. Yixing frowned. Yes, he feels disappointed that he is not the one that Sehun is watching. He just looked at the poor footlong sandwich that is lying on the pavement.

            “Damn that Sadako! If ever I see her again, I’ll throw her in the well myself! Look at what she did with the food. Because of her, it was wasted like that.” He looked at Sehun. “Of course I’m not blaming you why Sadako is gone. She just crawls fast, that’s why.”

            Sehun doesn’t answer. Yixing saw him trying not to laugh in front of him. Then he sighed and turned to him.

            “I’ll just buy you another sandwich. Where did you bought that?” Sehun said, pointing at the sandwich.

            “There—” Yixing shrieked when he saw another “monster” appeared beside him. He immediately latched himself onto Sehun who wrapped his arms around him to move him away from the being that scared him.

            “Back off, buddy.” Sehun said. “The guy is not in a very good mood tonight.”

            The hideous creature walked away, scaring other people it came across with. But Sehun stayed by his side, “protecting” him from the other Halloween participants. Yixing doesn’t react to how sehun holds him. He doesn’t even have the nerve to ask why Sehun did it either. He wonder why he calmed down when he felt Sehun’s warmth. Then he felt relaxed wrapped in Sehun’s arms. This was the first time he ever let someone hug him this way. The truth is, he’s not letting anyone hug him in front of many people, except now.

            _You just like him so you’re making him an exception to the rule._

            Yixing doesn’t bother to answer that small voice in his head because he might say nonsense things to himself. Especially because he is not sure anymore of where his feelings are coming from these past few days. It’s because he always see him and talk to him longer than usual. He always notices his feelings for Sehun because he is always with him.

            Now, everytime he tries to forget about Sehun, the younger always appear in front of him. Then his plans dissolve just like that. Now he knew there was something in those feelings of his for Sehun that he knows wasn’t ordinary. Because these past few days, he always think about Sehun every time he writes his novels.

            A handsome inspiration. Yixing secretly grinned. Yes, Sehun had become his inspiration, the thriving force behind those novel of his that seemed to have gone dull before Sehun became visible in his life. Yixing secretly smiled and slowly raised his arms to wrap around Sehun’s body. He slowly closed his eyes to even feel Sehun’s warmth.

            “It’s raining.”

            “Hmm.” _Wow, if I only know that hugging someone feels so good._

            “Ugly.”

            “Hmm.” _Fine, call me ugly, ape, elephant, grasshopper. I don’t care. I’m not affected by that._ Yixing’s fantasies stopped when he felt that Sehun is moving away his body from him. He woke up from his fantasizing.

            “Ah…” Even if he is against it, he forced himself to move away from Sehun. Because Sehun might think something else. “What did you say again?” He looked up when he felt a drop of cold liquid on his nose. “Oh! It’s really raining!”

            “Yeah.” Sehun removed his jacket and placed it above Yixing’s head.

            “Why didn’t you tell me that it’s raining?”

            “Let’s get out of the rain, Yixing.”

            Sehun wrapped his arms around him for the second time and helped him look for a nearby shelter. The participants of the parade went to find their own shelter. Yixing bets that he is the only one that enjoys the sudden rain.    

            Especially now. It seems like they are not hurrying to find a shelter. He knew, he could feel it, they were enjoying each other’s company. And he was not about to complain about it.

            “You might get wet, Sehun.” Yixing raised a part of the jacket. “We should share this.”   

            “Don’t worry. A simple rain won’t melt me.”

            “You might get sick. You might blame me.”

            “If ever I get sick, I won’t blame you.” Sehun fixed the jacket on his head. “We can even make a written statement about it.”

            Yixing tapped Sehun’s hand and removed the jacket on his head. “It seems like it’s fun to bathe in the rain tonight.”

            “What are you doing? Put it back on—”

            “A simple rain won’t melt me, too.” And to help him prove his point, the rain poured harder. He returned the jacket to Sehun. “I want to enjoy the evening rain.”

            When he tried to turn away from Sehun, the younger held his arm. Yixing is ready to argue when Sehun pulled him to a nearby waiting shed where other people is staying. Sehun doesn’t even tried to wrap his jacket around him so he didn’t say anything.

            “This isn’t the right time and place to enjoy the evening rain.” Yising heard Sehun say beside him. “You might get sick.”

            “Does that mean you’re concerned to me?”

            Yixing felt that Sehun is removing something on his head. “You’re living alone. Who will take care of you when you get sick?”

            “So, you’re really concerned?”

            “Of course. You’re my cowriter.”

            Well, too bad. Because Sehun’s explanation with everything that he do to him is not that simple. It seems like he’s been finally hit by cupid’s arrow.

            Yixing shivered in the cold. But he could feel his heart warming up to the man he never knew who could make him feel this way. The rain poured heavier so the people tried to go in the waiting shed to avoid getting wet. And for the third time that night, he gave him a reason why he fell for him.

            Because Sehun isn’t just wrapping his arms around him. He was hugging him, protecting him from the other people who pressed themselves in the shed.

            “Feeling better?”

            “Yeah.” Yixing answered, then hugged Sehun. “Do you even have to ask? How about you?”

            “Yeah,” Sehun answered. “Much better now.”

            He felt Sehun drew a deep breath. Yixing took a deep breath too. Because even if the event is terrifying, it is the exact opposite of how he is feeling wrapped in Sehun’s arms.

\-----------------------------

            “Let’s place a bet on who will win in the contest, Sehun.”

            “There are too many cool costumes.” Sehun said.

            “Right. But choose the prettiest one.” Yixing pointed at the ine who’s walking up on the stage. “That’s my bet. The one that looks like a giant wart fish.”

            He heard Sehun chuckle. “Give the poor man a break. You’re insulting someone who is already ugly.”

            “Huh? The uglier a costume is, the most likely who will win.” Yixing waved his hand to emphasize what he meant. “I was actually praising him.”

            Sehun already chose his bet. They were in an open-air amphitheater where the judges will choose for the best Halloween costume. They were just standing because the cemented benches are wet. The heavy rain just stopped which is a good thing because the program might be cancelled if it continued raining. And Yixing’s sure that his moment with Sehun will not be continued.

            Yixing never knew he could be this excited about being with someone. Especially with someone who he considered as a rival once.

            “Good thing that you decided to go out of your house.” Yixing said. “You can’t write?”

            “No. I was just stuck in traffic. So instead of getting mad, I just parked my car to a nearby parking lot and decided to join the celebration.”

            “Wow, you’re really something.” He said then chewed on the fries that Sehun bought him earlier. “If you can’t beat them, join them.”

            “Why? What will you do if ever you’re stuck in traffic because of this parade?”

            “Well, I will throw a grenade at them then I will find you to buy me French fries.”

            Sehun looked at his fries. “Which are forty percent salt and fifty percent ketchup.”

            “It’s delicious. You want some?”

            Sehun shook his head. “You, why are you wandering here? You can’t write too?”

            “I just finished my novel, so I decided to watch the Halloween parade. In this way, I can relax and I can get some ideas that I can use to write in my next novel. I’m always like this. I always look for something to write with the happenings around me.”

            “But you’re writing romance novels. How come this Halloween parade is romantic?”

            “Don’t underestimate the power of my brain, mate. You’re talking to the one of the most talented writers in the universe.” Yixing licked the tip of his fingers. “I can make any scary moments into romantic stories.”

            “That’s creepy.”

            “That’s talent.”

            “I guess you’re right.”

            Yixing stilled for a moment, then looked at Sehun. “You agree with me.”

            “Why not? You just made a point.”

            _He has a point._ Yixing just smiled. “I’m not used of you agreeing with me.”

            “I couldn’t blame you. I must have been a real jerk to you in the past.”

            “And you even admitted it!” Yixing looked up in the sky. “There’s really a miracle!”

            Sehun just smiled. As the time passes, all of his bad impressions of Sehun is vanishing one by one. Sehun was turning into the most charming and adorable man he had ever met, a man perfect enough in his eyes—and in his heart.

            “Why are you looking at me like that?” Sehun asked. “I don’t have a million won with me.”

            “It’s just that you have rally beautiful eyes. I can’t explain it.” Yixing even looked intently at Sehun’s handsome face now he found an excuse to do so.    

            “The way you look at me now, you are saying like I got an extra face or something.”

            “Why not? This freakin’ world needs handsome faces such as yours, that’s for sure. I won’t complain if there’s two of you.” Yixing offered Sehun his food. “You want?”

            This time, Sehun finally took some French fries with forty percent salt and fifty percent ketchup.

            “Is it safe to believe you found me attractive?” Sehun asked after chewing the fries.

            Instead of answering, Yixing just watched the awarding on the stage. He can’t believe he outright praised Sehun. Well it’s up to the younger to sum up the remaining puzzle pieces. He just admitted to himself that he liked Sehun. It’s too much if he will admit it to the other man. He still has some shame left.

            “Ugly.”

            He looked at Sehun. “Yes?”

            Sehun’s eyebrows knotted. But he can see the smile on his lips and the glow in his eyes. “Nothing. Who won?”

            “The winner is not yet announced. Yixing saw a familiar woman who walked in front of them. “Sehun, that’s your ex-girlfriend, right? Eunjung?”

            “Eunbin.”

            “Yeah, I said Eunbin.” He saw that the woman with another man. “Woah, she sure moves on fast. Wow.”

            He noticed Sehun fell silent so he looked at the younger. He wasn’t looking at his ex. But his mind seemed to have gone somewhere else. Yixing became worried. Why did Sehun react like that when he said that he doesn’t love his ex-girlfriend? Why is he emoting like that? Does that mean that Sehun regrets letting go of the woman because he still loved her?

            _Think positive, Yixing!_ _Sehun didn’t love that woman._

            He heard the people’s applause. The winner of the contest will be announced. Yixing thought of a way for Sehun to focus on another thing.

            “Let’s do it this way, Sehun. If your bet won, you can ask me anything. Even a million won.”

            Yixing succeeded in getting Sehun’s attention. He looked at him. “And if you win, what will you ask for a prize?”

            He tapped Sehun’s arm. “It’s a secret.”

            Sehun doesn’t insist of knowing it. Which is better if he did. Because the man became silent again beside him. Good thing that the winner was announced.

            “Yeah!” Yixing turned to Sehun and gave him a quick kiss on his cheek. “I won! Woohoo!”

            His heart wants to leap out of his chest because of what he just did. For the twenty five years of his life, it’s the only time that he possessed a great confidence and shamelessness like that. So he immediately wished that the ground would swallow him up because Sehun was just looking at him without any emotion on his handsome face.

            “You didn’t win.”

            And that is the reason why his humiliation doubled. Sehun is right. His bet didn’t win.

            _Oh well._

            “Really?” Yixing cleared his throat and glanced at the stage where the winner is awarded. “You’re right. I thought he’s my bet. They are both look like a giant wart fish, right? It’s obvious from where we are standing.”

            “No.”

            Of course, Sehun was right. He just smiled at the younger. “Sorry…”

            “It’s alright. What now? I won.”

            “Yeah—” Yixing wasn’t able to say anything when he felt Sehun’s lips on his cheek.

            Sehun kissed him!

            “I have to get going, ugly. I still have a meeting to attend to.” Sehun wrapped his jacked around Yixing. “Enjoy the rest of the night and…thank you.”

            Yixing just followed Sehun with his gaze while the latte is walking away. He felt that his whole body is getting numb. His hand automatically touched his cheek where Sehun kissed him.

            “He…kissed me…” A smile slowly crept on his face, especially when he saw the jacket on his shoulders. It is a proof that what just happened was not a dream. “Sehun really kissed me.” 

            _Damn._


	7. Chapter 7

            “Sehun…” Yixing tightly hugged his pillow and screamed. He remembered what happened last night where Sehun kissed him.

            _Yes, it was just on my cheek but it was still a kiss nonetheless. And to be kissed by someone you adore is the most beautiful thing that could happen to you on a Halloween parade._ He lay on his back and looked at the ceiling, and drowned himself again with the said memory.

            “Oh Sehun!” He screamed loudly. “I love you!”

            Yixing immediately got up from his bed and glanced outside the window. The sky was a bit dark and it indicates that it might rain but it feels like everything is bright and colorful around him. He opened the window.

            “I love you, Oh Sehun!” He screamed for the second time. “I will marry you in any church, eh… within Seoul only!”

            Yes, that was what he was feeling. Well if you think about it, it’s a bit fast because it’s just a week where he and Sehun started to get to know each other well. But for Yixing, it is enough time to say that he indeed is in love. He doesn’t care if when did he start loving Sehun but the most important thing now is that he is happy with what he is feeling. He doesn’t care what other people might think.

            The lightning scattered across the sky. He closed his windows. He feels so energetic even though he wasn’t able to properly sleep last night because of thinking of what happened between him and Sehun in the Halloween parade.

            And speaking of Sehun, Yixing thought a brilliant idea on how to see the other man again. Without looking so excited, that is. He took a shower and prepared to leave his unit.

            “Oh Sehun, wait for me.” Yixing told his own mirror reflection. “Wait for your destiny. And that’s me!” Yixing laughed evilly.

  After dressing up, he went to the largest bookstore in the city. He picked up all the books that Sehun wrote. Yixing gently caressed each book, placed it on his cheek and kissed it one by one. He received weird looks from other book buyers.

  “ _You want to read_?” He asked the guy beside him in English. He heard the guy talking in English earlier on his phone. “ _It’s good. It’s funny, you know?_ ” The guy, not older than 20, gave him a blank stare. “Ah, whatever. Why am I talking to you when you can’t even understand Korean?”

    But he is feeling good this day so even if he looks stupid in front of the guy, he still continued to promote Sehun’s book. The guy is not walking away from him, anyway.

    So he continued talking in English. “ _This is a very good book. When you want to learn some Korean, you read this, okay? Because the man who wrote this is very, very intelligent. Like me. And he’s also very handsome. Like you._ ” The young man smiled. It seems like he’s ready to buy Sehun’s book because the man took it from him when he waved it in front of his face.  “ _Yes, that’s my Sehun. He’s very, very handsome. And I love him, you know? So buy this, okay?_ ”

      “Mark.”

      Yixing gasped when he heard that familiar voice. His heart rate doubled. He can’t be wrong. He knows that voice!

     “Hyung.” Said the young man beside him. “Your timing is perfect. This cute little fan of yours was just trying to persuade me to buy your books. And I must say, he has a very good talent in sales talk.” The man―Mark―said in perfect Korean.

       Yixing looked at the direction where Mark is looking at. And there he was, Sehun himself. It seems like everything around him was gone and it was just him and Sehun.

      “Sehun…”

      “He really loves you, you know.” Mark said. “He keeps on praising your books and your handsomeness. You’re really lucky, hyung. You have an admirer like him.”

            Yixing looked at Mark when the latter tapped his head like a child. “You know how to speak Korean? Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I had a hard time speaking in English.”

            “I was only born in Canada, but I’m Korean.” Mark said coolly. “And Sehun hyung is my cousin. Anyway, you’re cute when you were trying to persuade me to buy Sehun hyung’s books. That’s why I didn’t interrupt you on your monologue. By the way, my name’s Lee Min Hyung. But you can call me Mark. How about you? What’s your name?”

            “Batman.” Yixing immediately went to Sehun. “Sehun, how are you? Look at the destiny, it’s always finding a way to make us meet. Look, I bought all of your books. I should get a kiss from the author, am I right?”

      But Sehun just looked at Mark’s direction. “Have you bought everything that you need? I need to go back to my house because I still have a lot of work to do.”

            “He’s right Mark.” Yixing said to the guy who doesn’t know if he’ll laugh or frown. “Why are you disturbing him? If you want to buy all the books in Seoul, you should just go with me instead. You know that Sehun’s time is equivalent to a gold bar, right?”

            “Yixing.”

            _Wow._ Sehun called him by his name again. He smiled at him. “Yes?”

            “Just ignore Mark’s antics. That guy as a poor sense of humor.”

            “Okay. If you say so.”

     “Hey, what did I do wrong? I’m just standing here. And, you know each other?”

            “Mark, let’s go. Yixing, we’ll go now.”

            “Let’s invite this cutie pie to go with us, hyung.” Mark said like he’s older than him. But Yixing just ignored it. He will just reprimand the kid later. “So that you won’t get irritable anymore. It seems like you’re ready to breathe fire anytime.”

            “Mark.”

            “Okay, okay.”

            Sehun just gave him a simple nod and then he started to walk towards the exit. Of course, his heart is not contented with that simple gesture.

            _Well, hello! He kissed me last night. So maybe I have a right to demand for a warmer goodbye._

            Yixing went after them. “Sehun, wait. Ah… maybe you want to grab some coffee… together with Mark. Don’t worry, it’s my treat. I just received my paycheck–”

            “No, thank you. I’m sorry. I really have to finish some work.”

            “But it won’t take long, I promise–”

            “I’m sorry.”

            Yixing felt ashamed at some point so he just let Sehun go. Mark just tapped his shoulder.

          “I apologize for Sehun hyung’s behavior. He didn’t get enough sleep these past few days because he’s finishing his work. I even disturbed him to fetch me in the airport earlier.”

            Yixing tried to smile. “Of course. I perfectly understand him. I’m a writer too.”

            “You’re a writer too? That’s great! Next time, I will ask for your autograph, okay? Hyung.” Mark finally said.

            “I’m writing romance novels.”

            “Even if you’re writing children’s books, I will still get an autograph from you.” Mark gave him an apologetic smile as he followed his cousin. “I want to apologize again for the way Sehun hyung acted earlier. Take care, hyung.”

            Yixing just nodded. When Mark was gone, he just felt the weight on his chest. What happened for Sehun to act that way? Did he do something wrong? He remembered Mark saying that Sehun wasn’t able to sleep.

        “Ah, he’s right.” Yixing comforted himself. “I even act that way when I don’t get enough sleep.” And sometimes, he’s worse. He lifted the book that he failed to get an autograph from Sehun. “Well, look at the bright side. At least, I still have a reason to go to you. You’re a genius, Yixing.”

\-----------------------------

            Carrying some of Sehun’s books and a paper bag which has Sehun’s jacket and shirt, Yixing conditioned himself for the second time.

            “Sehun, how are you? I’m here to return your pullovers—I mean, shirt. Maybe you miss…” He cleared his throat and tried saying it in different tone. When he’s satisfied, he took a deep breath and slowly walked towards Sehun’s house which is a few meters away. “Wow, it’s really hard to court someone.”

        Before he even walk away, he took a deep breath again and quickly walked towards the door. “Ah! I can do this. I wanted to see him. I miss him… let’s go!”

            “Ugly.”

            “Oh my god! You scared me!” Because of shock, he dropped Sehun’s books. Which is immediately replaced by happiness when he saw Sehun is walking towards him. “Yah! Why are you appearing out of nowhere like that!? What are you doing here? Why are you outside your house? Who are you?”

           “You are out of your mind again.” Sehun picked up the books one by one. It seems like he recognized it. “You don’t have to buy these. I can give you some copies if you like.”

            “It’s okay. It will add up to your sales. Anyway, here.” Yixing gave the paper bag to Sehun. “I brought that to you so you don’t have to go to my condominium.”

            Sehun gave him back the books as he took the paper bag from Yixing. “Thanks.”

            “Ah, it’s nothing. I should be the one who thank you because it was useful for me, I mean, your jacket. Imagine, you left it with me last Halloween…” He suddenly remembered how Sehun kissed him. “I mean… you know–”

            “It’s too late. You should go home. It’s quite dangerous to be out this late.”

            There goes Sehun’s cold tone again. Yixing can’t help but to sulk.

            “Sehun… are you mad at me?”

            “No.” Sehun take a look inside the paper bag in his hand. “Wait for me here. I’ll just get my car and bring you home.”

            “Sehun.” Yixing blocked Sehun’s way. “I’m asking you.”

            “And I answered you. Wait for me here.”

            But he still followed him. He won’t let Sehun avoid him like that without knowing the reason. “If you’re not mad at me, why are you treating me like this? Did I do something wrong? Please tell me so that I won’t spend my time thinking why are you treating me like this.”

          Sehun stopped on his tracks but doesn’t face him. “I’m sorry. I’m just tired.”

            “I’m tired too, Sehun. But I didn’t act like this to someone…close to me.” Sehun still didn’t say anything or even turned to him. Yixing just sighed, hoping that he might take this heavy feeling off his chest. “I’m sorry for disturbing you. I just want… I want to return that to you. Then…I want to ask for an autograph for your books.”

            Sehun still doesn’t say anything. He’s not sure what to think about his silent treatment. Why? They were happy last night. What on earth is happening now? Did he visit him on his dream and did something wrong that’s why Sehun doesn’t want to see him?

            _This is really frustrating. Why don’t you say anything, Sehun? Don’t you like me too?_

That’s when Yixing finally understands everything. Maybe Sehun doesn’t feel anything for him that’s why he’s avoiding him. And his kiss… it’s just on his cheek. It means nothing. It… doesn’t mean anything.

            He felt like he’s been poured by cold water at that moment. He’s so stupid. Why does he realize it just now? The reason why Sehun has been avoiding him because he wants him to know that everything happened between them last night doesn’t mean anything. And Sehun doesn’t want to embarrass him that’s why he doesn’t say to his face that he doesn’t feel anything for him.

            _Damn… it hurts! I want to cry. I’m so stupid!_

 _`_            “Well… I have to go. I’m sorry for disturbing you.”

            Yixing went back to where he came from earlier. He has this heavy feeling in his chest. Why is it like this? It’s supposed to be happy when you love someone. But why doesn’t he feel it? He’s like the characters in his book—they feel hurt when loving someone. All this time, he thought that he writes fiction because he thinks that everything is not happening in real life. But now, he realized that everything is real.

            “Yixing.”

            His heart leaps when Sehun called him. His sulking suddenly flew out of the window and he forgot his dilemma. He turned to him. Ah, yes. There goes his heart that does not stop loving Sehun.

            “Don’t come here to see me again.”

            Yixing was shocked of what he just heard. “Huh?”

            “This will be the last time we’ll have this kind of conversation.”

            “What?”

           “You’ll understand me someday.” Sehun gave out a sigh. “I’ll take you back to your home. Stay here. I’ll just get my car.”

            Yixing followed Shun with his gaze. It’s still unclear for him what did he mean earlier. When he felt something flicked on his head, he can’t help but to ask Sehun.

            “Sehun!” The said man looked at him. “I love you!” It was Sehun’s turn to look stunned. “Do you understand that? I love you! So how can I avoid you like what you wanted me to do? I cannot do that. I won’t do that.”

            Sehun just stared at him for quite some time. Until he can’t see any emotion on his handsome face.

            _No!_ Yixing shouted in his mind. _Don’t you dare hide from me, Sehun._

            “Se–”

            “I don’t want to hear that from you again.” Sehun turned away from him.

            Yixing’s heart protested. But his mind is telling him not to give up.

            “I can feel that you feel the same for me, Sehun. Am I right?” Sehun continued walking away from him. “Do you love me?”

            _I’m not ashamed anymore_. Sehun stopped on his tracks but he’s still not looking at him. For the second time, his heart hopes again. But failed to when Sehun silently walked away from him. When a taxi passed by, he flagged it down. It stopped between them. Sehun walked to his side to open the door for him. He doesn’t have a choice but to go near him despite the heaviness on his chest. Yixing tried watching Sehun’s face for the last time but he avoided him.

            “Good night, Yixing.” Then Sehun closed the door of the taxi and walked away.

            It was the last time that he hears his voice and sees his handsome face.


	8. Chapter 8

      “Sir, please pay for those before you open it.”

      Yixing noisily chewed the Peppero, before answering the supermarket staff. “Why do you care? I’m hungry. Besides, I will pay for these. I won’t run away. I’m rich!”

      The truth is, he is just standing facing the rows of Pepperos displayed in the snack aisle of the grocery store that he is in right now. It’s just that his mind went to Sehun again.

_That guy! He thinks that he’s the only handsome guy in this world. Huh! I’m in the country full of rich and handsome men! There are more handsome guys than him that I can love! Someone who will not push me away after I confessed to them! Huh! I’m getting more weird every second!_

       But who is he fooling? Nothing, just himself. Because whatever happens, he will never forget Sehun and he will never replace him with another handsome guy. Because up until that moment, it is still Sehun that is in his heart. He’s getting annoyed with himself too. Because he’s hurting but he still continues to love that fool.

       “I’m really sorry, sir.” The staff said. It is really not allowed to open any products before paying for it.

       “Fine, fine.” He grabbed three more boxes of Peppero and marched towards the counter. “How annoying! I will make you a parrot in my next novel.” Yixing whispered.

       “Yixing?”

       “Why?” he snarled at the person who called him. But immediately took it back when he recognized the person. “Chanyeol.”

       “That’s right.” Chanyeol playfully nudged his forehead. “You wasn’t able to attend my wedding yet you acted at me that way.”

       “You better throw him in the jungle, Chanyeol.” A smaller man said. “I can help you of you want.”

       Yixing’s forehead knotted. “Are you two for real?”

       Chanyeol just laughed together with the man beside him. He met Chanyeol on an event two years ago and since then, he became friends with the man. But he was surprised when he learned that Chanyeol married someone last year because he knew that Chanyeol doesn’t have a boyfriend.

       “Oh, by the way. Yixing, this is Kim Jongdae. Our husbands are friends. Jongdae, this is Zhang Yixing. He’s a writer.”

       “Ah, another artist.” Jongdae extended his hand for a handshake. “I really admire writers like you. You have the power to turn someone into a villain if you wish.” Then he laughed.

        “I apologize for Jongdae’s craziness. He’s really like that.” Chanyeol said.

        “Guilty.” Jongdae agreed.

        Yixing just shook his head at the man’s antics. He noticed Jongdae’s wedding ring as well. It seems like he is very happy with the man he chose to be with.

 _Good for them. When will I find a man just like their husbands?_ Yixing thought to himself.

        “I heard you were having an argument with the supermarket staff earlier.” Chanyeol said. “Do you want us to throw her in the jungle instead?”

        “Yeah, and we’re rich too. And Exo Riding Club is a vast place. We can throw her there instead—”

        “Wait, did you just say… Exo Riding Club?”

        “Yes.” Chanyeol realized something. “Oh, we weren’t able to tell you that our husbands are members of that riding club.”

        “Well, now he knows.” Jongdae stared at him. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

        “Huh?”

        “He doesn’t have one.” Chanyeol answered for him. “Writers like him are busy, you know?”

        “Maybe you want one? My hyungs are available. And their best friend as well.”

        “I’m in favor of Ryeowook hyung. But your brother and his evil best friend? Nah, I don’t think so.”

        “Why? What’s wrong with my Heechul hyung and Kyuhyun?” Jongdae pondered for a while. “You have a point, Chanyeol.”

        “Ah, excuse me.” Yixing interrupted. “Do you know someone who named Sehun who is a member of that club?”

        “Sehun?” Chanyeol said. “As in the Oh Sehun of Haengsong Publishings? Your boss? You talk to each other now?”

        Yixing nodded. Chanyeol knew about Sehun because he often tells him about his boss. Which is now more than just his boss.

        “Wow, this is new! We need to catch up more often to have an update about your life, Yixing.”

        “These members are really one of a kind, right? They were abe to spread their charms outside the club.” Jongdae playfully winked at him. “Is there something between you and Sehun?”

        “Uh…”

        “Oh, no.” Jongdae muttered. “Don’t tell me you’re at that stage now?”

        “Huh?”

        “You know, the ‘lovers misunderstanding’ stage?”

        Yixing laughed. “That seems to be fine at that point. If we are lovers. But then…”

        “You’re not yet together?” Chanyeol asked. “You’re so slow, Yixing! You romance novel writers are not weak when it comes to love! Hello! You write the love stories, for Pete’s sake!”

        “I know.”

        “So, what happened? Why are you still not together—”

        “He doesn’t like me.”

        The two pulled him away from the counter. They arrived at the wine section.

        “Did you tell him?”

        “Do you love him?”

        Yixing answered them with a nod. He wasn’t the type of person who could easily open up his emotions to someone he hardly knew. But with these two, he didn’t know. Maybe he can see an ally in them. He isn’t a sociable person as well so he just have a few friends, which he cannot ask for some advice because they have their own lives now. And for now, he really need some people who can support him in times like this. People who will help him because he felt that his heart is grieving.

        “Why doesn’t he want you?”

        “Maybe because… he doesn’t really… you know, love me as well?” Yixing drew a deep breath. His chest really hurts whenever he thinks that Sehun doesn’t feel anything for him. “But I can’t stay still. It seems like I need to know something. That’s why I need to talk to Sehun. I will ask him some questions.”

“Like what?”

         “I asked him before if he loves me. He didn’t say anything.” Chanyeol and Jongdae looked at each other. He knew what they think. That he is hopeless. Yixing thinks so, too. But the thing is, he feels restless. And his work is affected because he cannot write properly. “I need to talk to him. I will ask him again if he loves me. And I needed to hear it from him. That… that …he doesn’t love me. So that my stupid, restless heart will be still. If he’s in Exo Riding Club, can you help me go in there? Please? Just this once?”

         “Yixing, do you know what might happen?”

         “You would totally crush your heart if Sehun tells it to your face he doesn’t… you know.”

         “I know.” Yixing wants to cry again. But he refrained himself for doing so. He is in a public place and there’s nothing happening on his agenda for today. He will cry if Sehun will outright tell him that he doesn’t love him. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m a sadist because I want to hear it from Sehun himself that he doesn’t love me.”

         “I agree.”

         The two just sighed. “I can’t believe that we will be using Heechul and Kyuhyun’s meddlesomeness today.” Chanyeol said.

         “Same here.” Jongdae agreed.

        The two men looked at him. Yixing can see in their eyes and smile the understanding in his situation. In the times when he thought that he doesn’t have any hope left, these two will arrive.

         “I don’t know why you are helping me.” Yixing said. “But… thank you.”

         “We were once a victim of love, Yixing. So we can perfectly understand you.”

         “Like you, we didn’t give up from our feelings” Jongdae playfully ruffled his hair. “This is the face of a man an Exo Riding Club member could fall in love with.”

         “Treasure the feelings you’re feeling right now, Yixing. Because it just come once in your life.”

 _I would,_ Yixing promised himself. _I definitely would._

* * *

         Yixing looked at the two men who are equally staring at him. He was finally able to enter the grandiose Exo Riding Club with the help of Chanyeol and Jongdae. He wants to appreciate the beauty of the said place but his mind is occupied with his problem with Sehun.

_After all these problems…_

         Now, in front of him is two of the most handsome men that he has ever seen. They really look so good especially now that they are wearing their club’s official uniform. He can see in them the elegant personality of Sehun. If that’s the case, then the guy is really rich because the way that he talks and moves is refined. To be honest, all of the club members there have an attitude like that. It was like their wealth matched their fine attitudes.

         But he’s not that sure when it comes to the two men in front of him. Heechul and Kyuhyun looked nice enough but there was also something about the way they watched him that made him uneasy. Why did Chanyeol and Jongdae left him? But it doesn’t matter now. He wants to forget his personal feelings for his own damn peace.

         “Tell us.” Heechul said. “Why do you think we have to help you with Sehun?”

         “He already dumped you, didn’t he?”

 _Ah, there it is_. The “something” that made him uneasy. These two talks brutally. But he doesn’t have any plans on backing down.

         “He didn’t dump me.” Yixing said.

         “If that’s the case, why are you chasing him now?”

         “If he already accepted you in your life, you don’t have to face us, right? And we shouldn’t be talking like this.”

 _Why do you care? I want to chase Sehun here so you can’t do anything to stop me!_ “I want to hear it from him that… he doesn’t love me. Because when I asked him, he didn’t answer anything.”

        “Well, wasn’t that answer enough?”

Kyuhyun nodded, agreeing with Heechul. “If you want, we will answer on Sehun’s behalf. He doesn’t love you.”

 _So I therefore conclude I hate these two._ “You’re not Sehun. I need to hear from him those words. Then that’s the only time I will give up on him.”

        “Look, Mister—”

        “Look, you two. If you don’t want to help me, fine. I will just be the one who will look for Sehun. I’m here anyway and this the world of Exo Riding Club is small for me to not find him.” He stood up. “Thank you for your time. Sorry for troubling you.”

        He’s already a few steps away from them when he heard his name being called.

        “Why are you on insisting on knowing the truth about how he feels for you? You already know what his answer will be on your question without hearing it from his mouth.”

        Yixing looked at Kyuhyun and Heechul. “Because it is not every day that I feel this way and I don’t want to let go of this feeling just yet. Because my heart is still hoping. Because… because… I still love him whatever happens. If the feeling is not mutual, I want him to say it to my face at least. Until then, I will be at peace.”

        “Even if it hurts?”

        “It’s part of life.” Yixing answered. “And I already accepted that a long time ago. I can handle it.”

        The two looked at each other, then sighed. Heechul stood up and walked in front of him.

        “I like you.” Heechul smiled. “Everyone should be like this when they are in love.”

        “Huh?”

        “That’s really cute.” Yixing wasn’t able to react when Heechul hugged him. It was a gentle hug, only meant for a brother or a friend. “Instead of hearing Sehun’s answer, why don’t you make him fall in love with you?”

        Kyuhyun hugged him as well. “That way, you’ll have your chance with his heart. If nothing happens, then you got an answer.”

        His heavily beating heart suddenly became quiet. His irritation with the two is slowly dissipating. They were giving him a chance with their friend. Yixing just smiled. The two are not that ruthless like what he thought. If he’s not mistaken, maybe they are just putting him on a test to see how strong his feelings are towards Sehun. And now he had their approval.

       “Wow, a group hug!”

       “I wanna join!”

       “Me too!”

       “Yay!”

       Yixing felt heavy bodies weighing down on him because more club members decided to join their small group hug. He just laughed. He was surprised that the club members are very lovable. And it’s not surprising that many people from the outside world almost worshipped them. They are human too, just like him. They are reachable too. And easy to love, just like one of their members that he chose to love.

       “What’s going on?”

       Yixing stilled. It was Sehun’s voice!

       “Oh, nothing. Just a group hug.”

       “You want to join too?”

       “This is so fun!”

       Yixing tried to go out of the group hug to see Sehun. But he can’t do it with these guys on him so he shouted instead.

       “Sehun!”

       “Yixing?”

       “Sehun—ow!”

       “Yixing? What do you think you are doing to him? Get off him!”

        Yixing felt that the weight pressing down on him is slowly lifted off one by one. It’s because Sehun removes the men in that group hug facilitated by Heechul and Kyuhyun. When he’s finally free, his heart almost sang with joy when he saw Sehun. Oh, how he missed that gorgeous face and those lovely eyes of his! And he looked handsome wearing their club’s uniform. It’s not surprising that he didn’t reacted anything upon seeing him other than giving him the sweetest smile that he can give.

        “What are you doing here?” Sehun asked though.

 _Ouch!_ Yixing braced himself. Heechul and Kyuhyun said that he doesn’t have to hear from Sehun his answer to his question. He should do something to get Sehun’s heart. It is difficult to do so, based on what he is seeing on Sehun’s face right now.

         He wasn’t happy to see him.

         “Yixing.” Sehun repeated. “What are you doing here?”

         But before he could say anything, a guy hugged him.

          “Yixing hyung! _You pretty little thing! Let me take a good look at you._ ” Mark said in perfect English. “ _You’re really cute!”_

          Mark was about to hug him again when he slipped from his hold. Sehun was able to pull him away from his co-members. Yixing looked back at the men who smothered him with hugs. They are all smiling at him while Heechul and Kyuhyun have their thumbs up in the air. Mark is just waving at him.

          So what happened was just a plan.

_You, guys, are good!_


	9. Chapter 9

“What do you think you are doing? Why did you come here? Didn’t you know how crazy these people are? And you even went with Heechul and Kyuhyun!”

            Yixing tried pulling his hand away from Sehun’s grip as they walked away from the restaurant. But his grip was too tight. So Yixing just tried to match Sehun’s fast pace so that he won’t be dragged.

            “I already told you to stay away from me, right? But you didn’t listen and even went here!”

            “Who told you that I came here for you?”

            Sehun stopped walking and turned to him with furrowed eyebrows. “What?”

            _Hah! Thanks Kyuhyun and Heechul!_ Yixing stood straight.

            “Chanyeol and Jongdae brought me here to help me relax. Because they learned that I cannot write so they brought me here.” Yixing deliberately followed his gaze to the club member who just passed by on a horse. “Oh! There are so many handsome men here that can be my inspiration for my next novel! I wished I asked Chanyeol to bring me here sooner. There are so many handsome men here; I think I will finish my novels faster. And I will be a millionaire since then.” Another club member passed beside them. “Oh! Hi! Nice, uh… horse.”

            “That’s Yesung, he’s married.” Sehun pointed at the club members one by one. “That’s Kai, he’s married. Donghae, married. Junmyeon, married. Kris, married. Sungmin, engaged. Key, engaged. Zitao, Minho, Minseok, Henry, all are taken. There’s no one left. So you can go back to Seoul.”

            “They are all taken?” Yixing faced Sehun. “How about you?”

            “I’m off the list.”

            “Meaning?”

            “I cannot be your inspiration.”

            “Meaning?”

            “Yixing—”

            “Yixing? What happened to ‘ugly’?” Sehun doesn’t answer. Yixing has a feeling that he did the right choice on following him at this place. “Okay, I still need to find a single and handsome inspiration.”

            Sehun held his arm to stop him. Yixing just looked at his hand and his handsome face. He felt his heart beating faster. Funny how he could actually identify the different beatings of his heart. Or that there was actually such thing. Before, he just knew that his heart is beating because he needs to live. Now, he realized that his heart is beating because he is loving someone too.

            “You shouldn’t have gone here, Yixing.”

            _That again._ Yixing stared at Sehun’s eyes. He wants to clearly relay his message to him. “You can’t make me go away, Sehun. I’ll stay no matter what you say. You cannot scare me off to stay away from you.”

            “I’m not scaring you off. I just don’t want you to be hurt when you leave this place. The men here could easily hurt you.”

            “Well, thank you for your concern. But I think I’m not stupid to let those men hurt me. Anyway, if ever they succeed on hurting me, there’s nothing new. I am already hurting even before I came here.” Yixing pulled his arm away from Sehun’s grip. “So now, I will enjoy myself during my stay here. Don’t worry about me. I will never hurt again. Hmm? Okay, bye.”  Yixing smiled when he spotted a club member walking towards them. “Oh, my. What’s his name, Sehun? Is he single?”

            Yixing thought that Sehun will not answer him because he’s not saying anything. But when he answered his question, something has changed in his voice.

            “I think you are just hungry, Yixing. Let’s go grab something to eat.”

            “Ah, I’m good.” He continued watching the man approaching them while he was trying to hide his feelings at the same time. “I don’t need to eat.”

            Yixing planned on walking towards the approaching man so he can escape from Sehun. Because his heart wants to give up on this because Sehun haven’t said anything about his rants on hurting him unintentionally. But Yixing wasn’t running away. He will just summon up his courage when Sehun pulled him away.

            “Sehun what are you—”

            “You won’t get full with what you are doing. We’re going to eat a decent meal. And he’s not handsome. He’s just pretending.”

            Yixing suddenly had the courage, he’s heartbroken anyway. There’s nothing to lose. “Just admit that you are jealous.”

            “I’m not jealous.”

            “Why are you not letting me near him, then?”

            “I already said why. We’re going to have lunch.”

            Yixing just sighed. He really never learns. His heart is still continuing loving Sehun. _Oh well, that’s life._ Loving someone is really like this. May it be fiction or reality, what’s happening when you’re in love is just the same. When a person truly loves someone, he would give the person that he loves all of his heart even when it mean that in the end, there would only just heartache for him.

            _Whatever. If ever I will be hurt in the end, I will make sure that I will really enjoy this experience with Sehun._

Yixing tried to match his pace. Then he leaned his head on Sehun’s arm.

            “I want a delicious steak.” Yixing said.

            “Why are you leaning on me?”

            “Why are you holding my hand?” Sehun let go of his hand. Yixing hugged his arm and stayed by his side. “Huh, you think you can get away from me.”

            “What?”

            “Nothing.”

            Yixing moved his body closer to Sehun and he felt that the other man is laughing. That’s enough to build up his courage.

* * *

 

            The cold breeze is lightly touching Yixing’s face. He and Sehun are quietly walking towards the restaurant where his delicious stake is. They are walking for a few minutes already but he doesn’t care even if it will take hours to go to the restaurant as long as they are together. He could go on walking forever if Sehun would just stay by his side.

            “Exo Riding Club is so beautiful.” Yixing said. “It’s so relaxing in here. Are you staying here if you can’t write something?”

            “No.” Sehun answered. “I come here for total relaxation. I leave all my work in Seoul.”

            “You have a point. If I have this getaway place, I will do nothing but to enjoy. But how did you become a member of this exclusive club? Our salary is not that high.”

            “What do you think?”

            “You are a member of a mafia?”

            “The pay is not that high for a mafia member.”

            “You have a _sugar daddy?_ ” Yixing gasped.

            “Who will have interest in me?”

            “There are plenty of people who will be interested in you! It may be old, young, women, men, everyone! Even me.”

            “I see.”

            “It’s true though.” _Well, will you look at that? We are on good terms again. Cheers!_ “So were you able to become a member here if our salary as a writer is not enough to pay for membership fee?”

            “I have other businesses. Writing is just my hobby.”

            “Really?”

            “I had always wanted to write ever since I was young. I just don’t take it seriously because I don’t have the patience to sit on one place for a long time just to write. I just write if I’m in the mood.”

            “It seems like you’re already satisfied in being a writer.”

            “Of course. I like to write once in a while. My stress coming from the businesses that I have is relieved when I write.”

            “What business do you have?”

            “Haengseong Publishings for instance.”

            “Haengseong?” Yixing stepped back to look at Sehun to see if he’s joking. _Oh, so handsome._ “You own Haengseong?”

            “Yes.”

            “Then…”

            “Mr. Yoon is the general manager.”

            “No way.” But when Yixing thought of the times when their supposed boss seems to be always gratifying Sehun, he wants to believe what Sehun is saying. “You’re really the owner of Haengseong?”

            “You’re really persistent aren’t you?”

            Yixing playfully slapped Sehun’s arm. “That’s why Mr. Yoon always looks like he wants to give you flowers every time I see you two talking. Because you are his boss. Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I thought we are close.”

            “You never asked.”

            “You have a point.” Yixing hugged Sehun’s arm again. Now he knows how a simple writer like Sehun became a member of this exclusive riding club. “That’s really nice. You didn’t really abandoned writing. If you did, we weren’t able to meet, right?”

            Sehun didn’t answer. Yixing quickly thinks of another topic. He can’t help but get nervous whenever there’s dead air between them. He’s afraid that Sehun might stay away from him again because he didn’t like him.

            _Wait. I still need more time to be with him. Please give me three more hours._

            “How big is this place, really?”

            “Yixing.”

            _No!_ Yixing internally screamed. _Not that tone again! I’m not ready to leave, Sehun! Give me more time…_

            “Why did you really come here?” Sehun seriously asked. But he wasn’t asking him to go away, so that’s good. “Did Chanyeol and Jongdae really brought you here or you asked them to bring you here?”

            _Damn it!_ Yixing sighed. _It’s seems like it’s time’s up for me. I want to cry…_

            “I was the one who asked Chanyeol to bring me here. I also asked for Heechul and Kyuhyun’s help to see you and to be with you.” Yixing let go of Sehun’s arm. He also prepared his heart to let go of him. “But I’m not going to apologize because I want to see you. To talk to you.”

            He looked up at Sehun. Yixing’s emotions is overwhelming. But he doesn’t let it overpower him. When he decided to look for Sehun, he prepared himself for everything that might happen, even the possible heartbreak that he may experience.

            “I asked you once, Sehun. But you didn’t answer me. You just asked me to stay away from you and you just disappeared. Is it because you weren’t expecting my feelings for you? Sehun, it’s not my fault. I’m happy to be with myself in my own world. You see, you’re not talking to me so there’s no reason for me to talk to you. But you were the one who came close, who talked to me first. You showed me your other side besides the one that I’m seeing from afar. I was able to get to know you more.” Yixing tightly wrapped his arms around himself when he felt the cold breeze. “You made me feel special. Every time you looked at me, it was like you’re looking at the most important person in your life. With everything you did, you must have known that I might fall in love with you. That’s why when I confessed my feelings, you became scared and stayed away from me. I’m sorry if I’m disturbing you. But it’s also your fault, isn’t it? You made me fall for you.”

            _Oh gosh!_ He didn’t expect that he will confess his feelings for Sehun the second time. He’s here anyway so he might as well do it. As Chanyeol told him a long time ago, romance writers are strong as a bull.

            “If you didn’t come near me, I won’t have a chance to love you, Oh Sehun.”

            Sehun gave out a sigh. “You’ll only get hurt, Yixing.”

            _Ouch!_ Sehun somewhat answered his unanswered question. He tried to smile. “I already told you, I’m used to getting hurt when I started loving you.”

            “Yixing—”

            “Look, I'm going back to my original plan.” Yixing looked at the man he continues to love despite everything. “I went here for a purpose. That is to know your response to my question that you weren’t able to answer. I want you to answer me straight, Sehun. Then I’ll be on my way.”

            “Okay.”

            “Do you love me?”

            “Yes.”

            “Huh?”

            “But I can’t.”

             “What?”

            “I will only hut you in the end, Yixing. You know my history. You’ve seen how much of a jerk I am. And I don’t want you to experience the same thing. Eunbon is right. I don’t deserve to be happy. I don’t want you to be hurt because of me so it’s better you forget about me. Just go back to your quiet world, Yixing. You’re safer there. There will be no one to hurt you.”

            Yixing just stared at Sehun for quite some time. With what everything Sehun has said, everything became clear to him. So he just nodded slowly.

            “Okay.” Yixing said, and then turned away.

            Sehun loved him. And yet he still let him go. What a fool.


	10. Chapter 10

         “Yixing hyung.”

         Yixing looked at the person who called him. “Hi, Mark.”

         Mark looked at him, puzzled. “What happened?”

         “Oh? Uhm…” He smiled sadly. “I’m going home now. I’m done with my mission here. Do you know someone whom I can talk to so that I can leave this place?”

         “Is my cousin being stupid again?”

         Yixing looked at his wristwatch. “I want to leave as soon as possible. I still have deadlines to meet so…”

         “That Sehun hyung, really…”

         Yixing doesn’t complain when Mark hugged him again. Besides, he doesn’t have any strength left. If someone decides to fight him, he will just surrender without any questions asked. He felt so tired all of a sudden. And he’s really thankful for Mark for not letting him go and just continue to hold him. But then he saw Sehun. He was standing a few meters away from them, looking at him intently. He doesn’t have an idea what’s going in Sehun’s mind because his handsome face is devoid of any emotion.

         And that may be the reason why he felt his tears are threatening to fall.

_Why can’t you do it? You fool._

        Yixing saw Kyuhyun and Heechul appeared behind Sehun. He can see understanding and disappointment in their faces.

        “Wow, another group hug!” Heechul loudly exclaimed.

        “I want to join again!”           

        The two approached him and shielded him from Sehun’s view. Yixing just cried harder. Why do these people—whom he doesn’t really know—are taking care of his feelings? Why is the man that he love is letting him go? To think that Sehun loves him too.

        Wasn’t he worth keeping?

        “I want to go home.”

        “Let’s go then.” Heechul said. “Kyuhyun and I will bring you back to Seoul.”

        “I’m taking him home.” He hears Sehun say.

        Yixing bit his lower lip to keep himself from crying even more. But nothing happened. His tears continued to flow. He’s really grateful with that group hug because somehow, he can hide his tears from Sehun. He doesn’t want Sehun to pity him and use that as a reason to go to him.

        “Yixing, do you want Sehun to bring you back to Seoul?” Yixing shook his head. “He doesn’t want to, Sehun. Let’s go.”

        Without breaking the group, and still shielding him from Sehun, they started walking. But after a few steps, they stopped.

        “Yixing.” Sehun called him. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry…”

        “Be specific with what you are sorry for, hyung.” Mark said.

        “Let him go.”

        “You should ask Yixing hyung if he wants us to let go of him. We are just helping here.” Yixing shook his head again. “Sorry, hyung. Yixing hyung doesn’t want to. It’s totally your fault, what did you do anyway—”

        “Okay!” Heechul said. “We really should go now. So much gasoline is wasted now.”

        But they weren’t able to go anywhere. Sehun is probably stopping them from leaving. His hunch is right when he heard Sehun’s voice.

        “Yixing. I’m sorry if I hurt you. God knows this isn’t what I wanted. That’s why I chose to let you go because I don’t want you to be hurt…” Sehun stays quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry. Please don’t leave.”

        Yixing lets out a loud sob that he tries to stop from coming out earlier. He hears Mark clicking his tongue.

        “If I am not younger than you and my cousin, I would have given you a solid kick, hyung.”

        “You can do that later. For now, just let me talk properly with Yixing.”

        “He said he doesn’t want to talk to you.” Heechul said. “Damn, I hate seeing people cry.”

        “I said I was sorry.”

        “That’s not enough. If everything’s can be settled with just a simple sorry, then there’s no need for law enforcers to exist, right?”

        “Can you just leave?”

        “We are just following Yixing now. If you want to talk, then you should also endure our faces because we’re not going anywhere.”

Yixing was just too grateful that Kyuhyun, Heechul and Mark is not leaving his side. He is not ready to see Sehun just yet.

        “I only asked you to leave me because I don’t want to hurt you.” Sehun started. “I want to protect your feelings, Yixing. Because I love you. I did it for your own good.”

        “I know.” Yixing finally managed to say. “That’s why I’m leaving.”

        “No. I changed my mind. Right after you disappeared from my sight. I changed my mind. I can’t bear to be away from you. I don’t want you gone. I’m sorry I said those words. I take all of my words back. I changed myself the day Eunbin and I broke up. You were right in front of me when that happened so I promised myself that I won’t hurt the next person that I love. I was ready to change myself then. But the problem is, I’ve known you better. I’ve fallen in love with you while I was changing myself for the better. That’s why I haven’t noticed it immediately. What I know is that I’m happy when I’m with you. I’m happy when I see you. That’s the reason why you always see me in front of you. I keep coming back to you because I want to be with you. All the time.

        “When we saw Eunbin last Halloween, I just remembered the reason why I am changing myself. I was too afraid to hurt you because you have become too important to me, Yixing. I will do everything just to protect you. I was afraid to hurt you. So that I chose to put away my feelings for you. That’s why I chose to let you go.”

        “You’re stupid. If I was hurt, it’s not your fault. I let myself love you. So I’m aware that since then, I can hurt myself in the process.”

        “I know. But I can’t help but blame myself especially when I remembered what you said when Eunbin and I broke up. That I don’t deserve to love someone when I will hurt them in the end.”

        “But that’s not what I’ve said! What I meant is that you shouldn’t hit on someone on the first place if you don’t feel anything for them. I didn’t say that if you love someone, you should let them go.” Yixing felt his heart beat again. And just like the first time he realized what those heartbeats were for, he still couldn’t get rid of the feelings. He still loves this man very much. “You’re so annoying, Sehun.”

        “I’m sorry. Give me another chance. I promise I’ll do everything to make things right. And I promise… I won’t let you cry again.”

         Yixing didn’t answer. He just continued crying while hiding those three men who weren’t planning on letting him go anytime soon.

        “Please…” Sehun repeated. “Ugly.”

        Yixing bursts into tears again. But this time, it wasn’t because he’s hurt. It’s because he’s happy. Very happy. His efforts on love wasn’t wasted.

        “Well, Yixing, what should we do now?” Kyuhyun asked. “Are we still going to  the helipad?”

        “No need.”

        “Yeah. It seems like our “new client” has already made his decision.”

        He felt the hug loosened until the three men finally let go of him. And there, standing right before him, waiting so patiently, was Sehun himself.”

        “Don’t go, Yixing.” Sehun pleaded with all his heart. “I need you… I love you.”

        Yixing just sobbed. This time, it wasn’t the club members who hugged him. Because this time, it was Sehun who did it. He hugged him with all the tenderness he could muster. Through his hugs, he is conveying that he will never hurt him forever.

        “Our role’s done here.”

        “Right.”

        “Wait, who are you? I just saw you here at Exo Riding Club.”

        “Lee Min Hyung. Sehun hyung here is my cousin and I’m the newest member of this chaotic club of yours.”

        “Why didn’t you tell us sooner? Let’s drink to that.”

        “By the way, what should we call you?”

        “‘Mark’ would be fine.”

        “Do you have someone right now?”

        “Yes.”

        “That’s sad.”

        “Why?

        “We don’t have anything to do.”

        “You two are quite evil. Just like the people here said.”

        “They’re just not used to our ways of getting people together.”

        When the noise finally went down, he and Sehun had a chance to finally talk privately. Sehun kissed him on the head as he looked up at him. Yixing kissed Sehun on his lips. Sehun didn’t protest and returned his kiss with much fervor.

        There are really times when people get hurt because of love. But as others have said, you won’t get the true feeling of love if you are not able to experience the pain that comes with it. It was such a weird idea but he quite understood it now. And maybe the ones who can understand that crazy statement is the people who get to experience it firsthand.

        “I love you, ugly.”

        “I love you too, idiot.”

        They both just laughed at their foolishness.

        “Ah, before I forgot.” Sehun said while hugging him tight, but careful at the same time. “I don’t want to see you hugging other men. I know you use them as inspiration for your novel. But can you just use them as inspiration? And you will only get to hug me. Because the next time I see them hugging you, I might get into trouble.”

        “Oh, okay.”

        “And don’t frequently go with Mark again. That kid has someone else now.”

        “Sure. You still have something to say?”

        “Remind me to thank Heechul and Kyuhyun later.”

        “And Mark.”

        “And Mark.” Sehun brushed Yixing’s hair with his fingertips. “You smell so good.”

        “Jongdae recommended this lavender-scented shampoo. He said that is effective to make men fall in love with him because Junmyeon—”

        Yixing wasn’t able to finish his dialogue because Sehun deeply kissed his lips. Oh, well, he liked this much better anyway…

 


End file.
